Posts Tagged ‘plymouth’
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Don’t Give Up On That Dream
Big shot senior guy in class: Man, I’ve always wanted to live in The Shire!
Plymouth, Wayzata High School
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It’s A Good Season For It
Teen Girl #1: Oh cute! Ok, as much as he annoys me, that is a cute outfit. I mean, a sweater vest and a scarf!
Teen Girl #2: He’s only wearing that because he has a hickey the size of Antarctica on his neck.
Teen Girl #1: Oh.Plymouth, Wayzata High School
Overheard by nevermind then. -
It Could Be Very Expensive
Blonde (to friend with door knocker earrings): Hey, I like your little knockers!
Friend: Oh my god, you shouldn’t say that to people.
Blonde: What? Why not??Plymouth, Wayzata High School
Overheard by it means boobs. -
Does He Take Your Coupons?
Young employee to middle aged employee: You should see my Asian drug dealer about that.
Plymouth, Rainbow Foods
Overheard by I just want my cookies. -
A Spring Time Treat
Girl Talking to Friends: My New Year’s Eve sucked; I had to spend it with my family at the cabin and my mom was all hostile towards me all night because I left a root beer in the car.
Plymouth, Wayzata Highschool
Overheard by Better Root Beer than just Beer. -
Enough To Share With Everyone!
Kindergartener (reading nutrition facts on juice box at lunch): I can’t drink this juice box, there are 150 cavities in it!!
Plymouth, Kindergarten class
Overheard by 4 out of 5 dentists approve. -
Badge Of Honor
Kindergarten girl #1 (sadly): The boys were laughing at me because when I was sitting down they could see my butt crack.
Kindergarten girl #2: You know what, it’s ok. I see a lot of butt cracks. I see my mom’s when she bends over, people have probably seen my butt crack, and you know what? (whispering) Once I even saw our teacher’s butt crack.
Kindergarten girl #1 (perking up) : Really?
Kindergarten girl #2: Yeah. Sometimes when she’s kneeling on the floor I can see it.Plymouth, Kindergarten class
Overheard by Shocked and embarrassed teacher. -
Cleaning Out The Pipes
60ish man to a male friend: Well I tell ya, those jalapenos really did the trick for me.
Plymouth, Super Target
Overheard by What kind of trick would that be? -
That Doesn’t Happen With A Pot Luck
Woman #1: Send him an email saying he made 9 women extremely happy.
Woman #2 (adding): Orgasmic.
Woman #3 (adding): Tell him he pleasured 9 women.Plymouth, Office
Overheard by merry….christmas?!? -
Things Learned By Watching Old Cartoons
5 year old #1: Santa is real, but Mrs. Claus is not real.
5 year old #2: Mrs. Claus is too real! If Mrs. Claus wasn’t real, then how would Santa eat? Mrs. Claus cooks him things.
5 year old #3: Yeah! And you know Santa eats because he’s so fat. Mrs. Claus is so real.Plymouth, Kindergarten class
Overheard by Santa can cook for his damn self. -
Why Do New Yorkers Think We’re Rubes?
Cashier to Bagger: Where do you go to school?
Bagger: Washington D.C.
Cashier: Oh, I really want to go there. I’ve never seen the Statue of Liberty.Plymouth, Lunds
Overheard by CoachBrandon. -
Saturday Night Live Is Confusing Our Youth
Teen Girl #1(singing): I Jizzed in my Pants!!
Teen Girl #2: Oh my god, people keep talking about that.
Teen Girl #3: Yeah, what does it mean?
Teen Girl #1: Well, it’s when a man ejaculates in his pantalones.
Teen Girl #3: Alone?!Plymouth, Wayzata High School
Overheard by pants-alone-es. -
Diversity
Tiny junior boy: …or I could party it up with all the lovely Latina ladies in Mexico. (pause) Actually, I wouldn’t even want to go to Mexico for spring break. Everyone’s either a drunk American or a… destitute Mexican.
Plymouth, Wayzata High School
Overheard by describes my last spring break… -
Two Hours Sober!
Teenage girl: Wow, I haven’t had a drink since I got confirmed!
Plymouth, Wayzata High School bathroom
Overheard by I’m glad you appreciate the benefits of church. -
Frequency Is Not Helping This Joke Get Any Funnier
Cube bunnie #1: You should add a piglet to your crockpot dish.
Cube bunnie #2: Where am I going to get a piglet?
Cube bunnie #1: On 494, they’re everywhere, pigs galore!
Cube bunnie #2: Really, I can just go pick one up?
Cube bunnie #1: Only if you can catch them. The cops are rounding them up right now; it’s pigs chasing pigs!
Cube bunnie #3 from beyond the cube wall: (laughing and snorting)Plymouth, Office
Overheard by Pigs! -
If She’s Anything Like Me It Was On Purpose
Woman in cube: You backed away from her. What did she do? Pass gas?
Plymouth, The land of cubes
Overheard by what is that smell? -
And Everybody Likes Me
Woman in cube land: I’m a young cat. I’m a young MILF.
Plymouth, Office with too many cubes
Overheard by um, no you aren’t… -
I’ve Done Extensive Research On This Subject
Girl #1: Well, it’s not even bad for you because everyone loves the smell of their own fart.
Girl #2: Ew.Plymouth, High School
Overheard by i can honestly say i dont. -
Who Needs Research When You Have TV?
Woman to family at dinner: I’m not voting for Obama because he’s the anti-christ. (Family laughs, she’s offended) You really should respect people’s opinions. Besides, I saw it on Discovery Channel.
Plymouth, Noodles & Co.
Overheard by so then it must be fact. -
Keep 911 On Speed Dial
Boy #1: Do you think if we tore out the pages of this book and rolled our weed in them, we could, like, inhale the information?
Boy #2: I’m not quite sure.
Boy #1: You wanna come over and try it tonight?Plymouth, Wayzata High SchoolOverheard by wooooow.
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