Guy #1: Do you still shave your legs?
Guy #2: No, it was just a phase.

Mady’s bowl and lounge
Overheard by wow.

Excited man: I’ve been looking all over for you! Now I’m going to wear you like a coat!

St. Paul Art Crawl
Overheard by A coat? Really?

Ditsy brunette looking in the mirror: Oh my god, for a second I was, like, that girl looks just like me!

Gastoff’s Octoberfest Lameness
Overheard by Filled with anxiety.

Highschool dude: If you want good weed, ask the janitors at Chaska.
Dubious highschool girl: Hmm.
Highschool dude: THEY WILL SELL YOU WEED, MAN!!!

American Karate Studio
Overheard by mental note made, buddy.

Man: I’ma take this corncob and shove it up some m*therf*cker’s ass.

After an Aquatennial Parade, 4th and Nicollet
Overheard by hybrid fat-n-sassy.

Married woman: Yeah… I’m glad I don’t have a penis.
Single woman: Oh god, me too. But I sure would like regular access to one.
Married woman (looking sideways at husband): Yeah, but sometimes the sacrifices you have to make to get it are just too great.

Cooking club
Overheard by Garage girl #1.

8-year-old girl #1 (tying scarf around her head): We’re going to look like gangstas!
8-year-old girl #2 (also tying scarf around her head): Like what?
8-year-old girl #1: Like gangstas!
8-year-old girl #2: What’s a gangsta?
8-year-old girl #1: It’s a gangster.
8-year-old girl #2: Oh.
8-year-old girl #1: Like The Jets.
8-year-old girl #2: (suddenly understanding) Oh, okay!

Dressing room at a dance show
Overheard by I think they paid a little TOO much attention to West Side Story.

6 year old girl: We’re pulling our vaginas off!

Sabes JCC day camp
Overheard by Giggling Counselor.

African American teen worker #1: (just arriving for his shift talking to a co-worker) Man, it’s busy here today, What’s this place called again?
African American teen worker #2: It’s like Lumberjack Festival or some s**t like that.
African American teen worker #1: Lumberjack Festival? What the f**k is a Lumberjack?
African American teen worker #2: Some white dude with an axe.

snow-cone stand at Lumberjack Days in Stillwater
Overheard by Brandon J.

Middle Aged Man to Same-Aged Girlfriend after hearing on the p.a. that kids younger than 2 have to sit on a parent’s lap: I wish you were a lapkid.

Circus Juventas
Overheard by Scooter.

Teenage Boy (in reference to goats): They all have such full bladders!

Washington County Fair
Overheard by you mean udders?

Little boy looking at a sculpture of a tiny, bald, white old man: That is NOT Darth Vader!

Uptown Art Fair
Overheard by Not Princess Leia.

Role of Joe in Duluth’s all high school production of “Fame”(spoken in play): …tonight we’re gonna get naked & play twister on my mom’s waterbed!
Four year old girl sitting behind me in the audience: Mommy! It’s a wedding!

Duluth Denfeld auditorium
Overheard by hope my wedding’s that fun.

Concerned white woman: I notice a number of black people hanging around in the park and I was just wondering what the limit on crowds of black people is?

Park safety meeting at Minneapolis City Hall
Overheard by kdz.

Woman in converation about carnival workers: I’ll go drop $5 on the ring toss. I want to support the carnies. They need to get drunk and high tonight and somebody needs to pay for that shit!

Robbinsdale “Whiz Bang Days”
Overheard by I hope they’re sharing.

Guy: When state fair time comes around, I always park right in the peoples front lawn.
Girl: Why don’t you just ride the shuttle?
Guy: Because when I decide I am way too drunk and need to go home I know right where my car is at and I can just drive myself home whenever I want.

State Fairgrounds/ Back to the Fifties
Overheard by Maybe they should stick to 3.2.

40-something man: How much is this ring?
Worker: There should be a little tag on there with the price.
40-something man: But there’s just numbers on that.
Worker: Ummm… [baffled] well, what numbers are on it?
40-something man: A 3 and a 0.
Worker: Yeah, that would be thirty dollars then.

weisman art museum
Overheard by really? it’s that hard?

Guy #1: You just got back from Africa? That’s sweet. Did you get aids?
Guy #2: That’s not funny.

taste of minnesota

7 year old boy: OH MY GOD, LOOK! Somebody pooped on the floor!

Sabes JCC Family Locker Room
Overheard by His camp counselor.

Already Drunk Girl #1: Where’s the wristbanding booth, babe?
Already Drunk Girl #2: Oh, I think it’s this way… let’s go get smashed!
(they run away)

Right in front of the wristbanding booth, Basilica Block Party
Overheard by Stephan?