7 year old boy: OH MY GOD, LOOK! Somebody pooped on the floor!

Sabes JCC Family Locker Room
Overheard by His camp counselor.

Already Drunk Girl #1: Where’s the wristbanding booth, babe?
Already Drunk Girl #2: Oh, I think it’s this way… let’s go get smashed!
(they run away)

Right in front of the wristbanding booth, Basilica Block Party
Overheard by Stephan?

Lead singer of Tapes ‘n Tapes: This is Taste of Minnesota, you’re supposed to buy fried shit and eat it.

Taste of Minnesota
Overheard by clarodactyl.

Woman taking a bite of a cheeseburger she just purchased at a cheeseburger stand: Yum, this is pretty good. Almost as good as McDonalds! (pause, takes another bite) But not as good as Burger King.

Back to the 50’s Car Show
Overheard by Who Compares McDonalds anyway?

Mr. Old Crankypants: (unintelligible grumbling)
Mrs. Old Crankypants: What’s wrong?
Mr. Old Crankypants: I don’t know why they let all these cars drive all over the place.

Minnsota State Fairgounds amidst 11,000+ street rods at the MSRA’s Back to the 50’s car show
Overheard by OctaneBoy.

Guy #1: So, did you feel like you were going to poop your pants when you were running?
Guy #2: Huh? Noooooo. (Laughing) Why?
Guy #1: Well, they say people who run marathons sometimes crap themselves.
Guy #2’s girlfriend: Nah, he did an emema last night!! (laughing)
Guy #2: WHAT?? Why would you say that? Why are you trying to “out” me?
Guy #1: HA HA HA! You used “ass douche”!! You’re an ass doucher!! Ass doucher, ass doucher! That’s your new nickname…ASS DOUCHER!!!
Guy #2: I can’t believe you outed me. You’re not getting any tonight.
Girlfriend:That’s ok, you’d rather do it to your ass douche!

Grandma’s Marathon
Overheard by LMAO.

Senator Larry Pogemiller (DFL majority leader) to parade goer who expressed support for the governor: Where you dropped on your head as a child?

Celebrate Northeast Parade
Overheard by I didn’t vote for him.

Guy: You should have come to the bar last night, all these huge women were hitting on your dad.
Woman: Haha, were they huge?
Guy: …dinosaurs.

Grandmas Marathon

Ditzy 20-something talking about music with friend: Is Journey a band? I think I saw Journey!

Midway Stadium during a Saints game
Overheard by won’t stop believing.

Ditzy Girl: I, like, got soo pissed at my mom that I, like, punched the wall! It left a dent and blood stains. So, then I was like, “I have to clean that.” L-O-L!

American Karate Studio
Overheard by The quiet girl practicing her nun-chucks.

Guy: Gynecology is a hobby of mine.

Grand Ol’ Day

Suburban Male #1: This is a pretty sweet pad you’ve got here. How much do you pay for this?
Suburban Male #2: (trying to keep straight face) Yeah, this pad is… pretty awesome.

Bloomington
Overheard by not aware that “pad” is still an acceptable alternate for “house.”

Fire Twirlers, after beating drums and spinning fire: Okay, let’s go to Trocedaros.

Behind Spot Art Gallery
Overheard by taylor.

Man saying goodbye to a blind date: I’m glad you’re not fat.
The date: Um…

Washington County Fairgrounds
Overheard by Girl in straw hat.

20’s something girl: So, I was thinking of Liberty and Justice for Balls.
20’s something guy: Liberty and Justice for Balls?
20’s something girl: Yeah, I was trying to think of a paper title.

Homerun porch
Overheard by um, what?

William Shatner: Isn’t it great? The… Internet? With MySpace and… YouTube and… Our… Thing.

Downtown Marriot Star Trek Convention
Overheard by Alexis.

Sorta Drunk Guy: He’s got balls the size of church bells, to be wearing a Red Sox jersey around here.

Home Run Porch
Overheard by Manny Ramirez.

Woman on the 62-mile Ironman ride: Seeing people from this angle always reminds me that I want a tattoo on my calf.

Ironman Bike Ride
Overheard by Scooter.

Older woman regarding floral arrangement: Ohhhh, isn’t that lovely? Zeus is evil but doesn’t this look just so pure and nice?

next to Bertel Thorvaldsen’s “Ganymede and the Eagle” - Art Institute during Art in Bloom

Woman: Human nature is powerless to resist. It’s a bridge. It’s a spoon bridge, with a bright red cherry on the other end. The subliminal message is, climb over the bridge and touch the cherry. Everyone wants to.

Mpls sculpture garden