Girl #1: Look! It’s like a train!
Girl #2: Chugga chugga, chugga chugga… Quack quack!

Minnetonka Mills
Overheard by concerned friend.

White boy on crutches, loudly to sassy Latina girl: Is it because I am white?!

House party on the west side of St Paul
Overheard by whitegirl.

Policeman at scene of old man’s death: Well, he died in the shower, so pretty much everything just ran down the drain. So you’re not going to have to do any remodeling.
Apartment manager: We’ll have to remodel anyway. He’s been here so long that we remodeled around him. We didn’t want to displace him.
Policeman: Well, it’s pretty clean anyway. Although when we moved his body, it burst.

An old apartment building in Elliot Park
Overheard by Max.

Policeman at scene of old man’s death: So, do we know if he had any next of kin?
Second Policeman: Not yet. Do you want to see the dead guy?
Policeman: (Thinks for a moment, shrugs.) Sure.

An old apartment building in Elliot Park
Overheard by Max.

Earnest fellow: And then I watched Scrubs, and then I watched Blade Runner, the movie.  And then guess what I did?
Earnest fellow’s girlfriend: What?
Earnest fellow (proudly): I organized my receipts.

Stadium Village apartment building
Overheard by the girls by the elevator.

Recent newlywed girl to her husband at 2:00 a.m.: I told you, I don’t do that!

Through walls in an apartment in St. Paul
Overheard by Sleepless in St. Paul.

Maintenance man #1: Today, that plumbing was a bear. Thank god for beer!
Maintenance man #2: Well, it’s better then being sober.

Apartment building in Highland
Overheard by I don’t think my toilet is broken now.

Stoner #1: Dude, I have to go to the clinic to do an A.D.D. assessment. I went yesterday, but I got distracted halfway through.
His roommate: Oh come on dude, you don’t have A.D.D.

Apartment in MPLS
Overheard by Did you even listen to him?

Hungry Angry Teenage Boy to his Mom: Just cuz it says Tuna Helper doesn’t mean ya gotta add tuna!

From the sh–t, kickin’, speed takin’, truck-drivin’ neighbors downstairs . . .(in ne mpls)
Overheard by Wishing my FICO score was better, so I could buy a house in a better neighborhood.

Four-Year-Old Alone in the Family Room: I have the most wonderful nipples.

Soon to be Far More Interesting Home in Mac/Groveland
Overheard by Curious Mother.

Stylish 20-something on cell phone: Honey, even if he does have a big penis, he still should have bought you flowers…

some apartment on huron blvd, minneapolis
Overheard by not that picky.

Tipsy Grandmother: Oh, so he nibbles you like a duck?

Haven rd, Minnetonka
Overheard by dubious.

Angry neighbor to someone on the phone: I DID NOT call you fat. I DO NOT think you are getting fat or are fat. I DO NOT think you are unattractive. What do you want me to say?

South Mpls Apartment Building
Overheard by I hope this fight was worth ruining my sleep.

Burly maintenance man in my apartment while I’m asleep #1: Yeah, so how about Jenny’s boobs?
Burly maintenance man in my apartment while I’m asleep #2: Jenny’s boobs? Yeah… I really miss those things.

Portland Avenue, St. Paul
Overheard by Trying to sleep through titty talk.

Girl walking into living room, ball is being dropped; clock says 11:59:22: What? There’s 11 more minutes left?!

cottage grove new year’s party
Overheard by so glad the public school system worked for me.

Misbehaving child at Christmas: I tried to behave, but I just couldn’t keep the ANGER IN!

A house in Ramsey, Minnesota
Overheard by Max.

High School Guy: I have so much pent-up emotion!

18th Birthday Party in Burnsville
Overheard by Just Let it Out, Man.

Drunk guy: I was in a treatment facility once.
Not drunk guy: Should you be drinking now?
Drunk guy: Oh, booze wasn’t my problem. I’m from Iowa.
Not drunk guy: Meth, then?
Drunk guy: How’d you know?

uptown house party
Overheard by just a hunch.

Gruftie: I can’t quite place your accent. It’s like German… with a trace of Irish?
Rivethead in question: I dun’t, uh, I dun’t…
Tall gothboi: Why are you talking with an accent, anyway? Aren’t you from Iowa?

apartment party, 33rd/Chicago
Overheard by sxoidmal.

8-year-old boy, to another 8-year-old boy: Let’s go play in traffic!

Outside my house, St. Paul
Overheard by Dylan.