Posts Tagged ‘residences’
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At Least He Knows It
Kid, across the street: Dad, can you hear me?
Dad: NO!
Kid: Dad, are you too drunk to do Kung Fu moves?
Dad: I’m too drunk to shoot a motherfucker, I know that.North Minneapolis neighborhood
Overheard by the Right to bear arms…and children? -
It Requires A Mullet
Dad, to son about a Playstation game: Do you know what the “E” stands for on the game?
4 year old son: Everyone!
Dad: Good job. What about “T?”
4 year old son: Teen?
Dad: Yep. How about “M?”
4 year old son: (pauses) MacGruber!!!St. Paul – Highland Park, Garage sale
Overheard by Still laughing at this creative little guy! -
They’ll Eat Hamburgers And They’ll Like It!
Boyfriend to his Polish girlfriend, arguing about buying food for her visiting relatives: They should eat American; If I went to Poland I would expect to eat Polish!
Minneapolis, apartment building
Overheard by someone who doesn’t want to hear. -
He Owes Her $10 (And An Apology To Everyone Else)
Shirtless man standing on his front porch, yelling inside to his wife: He got a vasectomy!
Wife, shouting back: See?! I TOLD you he was snipped!Duluth, family-oriented neighborhood
Overheard by We want to hear about his colonoscopy, too! -
Very Sneaky, Mom
8-yr-old boy: But this is the last chance I get to play video games for FOUR YEARS!
Boy’s aunt: You’ve already played more than enough for one day.
8-yr-old boy: But we’re going back to Japan soon, and they hardly have any video games there at all!Crystal, Family gathering
Overheard by Don’t you agree, Mr. Miyamoto? -
I’d Prefer A Chainsaw Sculpture
30-something dude #1: Ugh, can you imagine Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito having sex. He’s such a gross person.
30-something dude #2: I’d like to make a clay sculpture of that.Minneapolis, The Murals apartments
Overheard by My BlackBerry was enjoying this BBQ until it lost it’s appetite upon hearing this. -
They Never Outgrow That
Babysitter to little boy with hand inside the front of his pants: Sweetie, do you have to go potty?
Boy: Nope, I just like having my hand here.St. Louis Park, typical backyard
Overheard by What more is there to say, really? -
The Official Diagnosis Is Xboxitis Of The Attention Span
Kid #1 playing Halo 3 on Xbox: Hey man, how’s it going?
Kid #2: What did you say, I didn’t understand?
Kid #1 playing Halo 3 on Xbox: How could you not understand that? I mean, do you have dyslexia of the ear?Roseville, at home
Overheard by CHUBBY2THEMAX -
Think About That For A Second
One drunk guy to his drunk friend: Sushi and miracle grow is the basis for my bone structure.
Minneapolis, on a front stoop
Overheard by a neighbor. -
OH! Where!?
Muscles Mcgee: My range is Cs to Ds. DDs are a litte intimidating.
20 something hippie brah: You’re like a kindgergartener; just mesmerized by shapes and colors, aren’t you?Minneapolis, an apartment
Overheard by a grad student. -
I Just Want To Talk
Party host, entering the room with a flourish: Can I ask you an honest question? I don’t care if you lie to me.
St. Louis Park, house party
Overheard by Honestly, I’m confused. -
I Don’t Believe You
Woman: Hey, did you guys know that Eric Clapton is known for being a really good guitarist?
Northeast Minneapolis, 2008 Superbowl party at my house
Overheard by DonaldDouchebag. -
Someone Doing You A Big Favor
Girl, yelling in another apartment: Who spilled beer all over my Uggs!?
Minneapolis, Apartments near Dinkytown
Overheard by the definition of college. -
Checking Inventory
30-something woman: She was like, “Bend over, wow, it’s tacos for dinner.”
Minneapolis, Linden Hills, house party
Overheard by My Blackberry just lost its appetite. -
What Did You Use To Start It?
Plumber standing on ladder: That’s what I used to put the fire out!
Minneapolis, A slightly damp Uptown apartment
Overheard by ORLY. -
Just Wait Until The Kids Have Gone To Bed
Dude: In high school I totally repressed my inner dick, and now it comes out.
Minnetonka, Gates Apartments
Overheard by My Blackberry Wishes You A Happy New Year. -
I Have Found This To Be True
Punk Rocker: I’m going to a New Year’s Eve VIP party at the IDS center.
Friend: Oh yeah? How’d you manage that?
Punk Rocker: I’m going with Deena. She’s a Jew, so she’s got connections.Mankato, Borad Street Apartment
Overheard by D.R.B. -
Who Has Two Thumbs And Needs Attention?
40-year old man at college party, sitting alone on the couch: Hey! Hey everybody! Someone just farted! Nobody gonna take blame? Last chance! It was me.
Minneapolis, Fryman and Eric’s house
Overheard by Freebo. -
Now You Ruined Tonight’s Surprise
Girlfriend, looking on boyfriend’s Blackberry: You Googled “just the tip”?
Northwest Minneapolis, my kitchen
Overheard by i love out-of-state visitors… -
That Explains Why Thanksgiving Was So Awkward
Drunk girl (pointing to object on top of cupboard): What’s this, a turkey baster?
Drunk bro: No, it’s a beer bong.
Drunk girl (discouraged): Ohh.St. Paul, House Party
Overheard by A.
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