Posts Tagged ‘residences’
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Throw Some Geography Into The Mix, Too
Girl #1 in early twenties: Did you hear the Russians are here?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, the Russians have invaded Georgia and they are right outside the capital!
Girl #2: Atlanta?
Girl #1: Must be, I saw it on the news; they where talking about it a lot. I wish I understood politics better so I could have understood what they were saying better.St. Cloud, Apartment building
Overheard by neighbor. -
There Isn’t A Bar Or Anything
Man Stumbling Into Apartment Elevator: Whaaa floor?
Twenty-something woman: Uh, two.
Man Stumbling Into Elevator: Man, that floor sucks.Saint Paul, Just Another Downtown Apartment Building
Overheard by So why’d he get off on the same floor? -
ShamYuck
Chick Watching Shamwow Commercial: Damn, you could take that on a trip with you and piss into it!
Columbia Heights, Apartment Party
Overheard by Why the hell is my BlackBerry in Anoka County?! -
Is It Too Late To Uninvite Her?
8-Year-Old Friend: So, is the birthday party going to be fun?
6-Year-Old Daughter: Yeah!
8-Year-Old Friend: Who knows? It could be a disaster!Minneapolis, Our Living Room
Overheard by Working Hard to Make it A Fun Party. -
To Spoon With?
Roomie Numero Uno: So, is your greatest strength still spooning??
Roomie Numero Due: I TOLD YOU, we’re not getting a cat!Minneapolis, Como
Overheard by Roomie Numero Tre. -
Who Can Be Sure
Roommate #1: But if she has a denty-face…
Roommate #2: Well, that has no bearing on her sphincter.U of M apartment
Overheard by Roommate #3. -
I’d Like To Hear From The Guys On This
Ditsy girl talking to friend: Well, my boyfriend… and I don’t know if you know this but a lot of guys, when they drink, wet the bed.
Melrose Apartment Complex, U of M
Overheard by No sweetie, that’s just what he tells you. -
You’re Kidding!
Guy #1: Yeah, getting crabs would suck.
Guy #2: Totally. But AIDS would suck worse. There’s no shampoo for AIDS.Minneapolis, North Loop Apartment
Overheard by Too soon? I think so… -
Which Explains Why They’re For Sale
Enthusiastic garage sale shopper (holding up socks): These are so CLEAN! How you keep your socks so CLEAN?!?!
Sock seller: Largely by… not wearing them.NE Minneapolis, garage sale
Overheard by It increases their value. -
Forty Hours Out Of Every Week
Drunk Dude: Do you ever want to have Tourette’s and be like ‘fuck it, fuck it, fuck it’?
Minneapolis, Front porch of house
Overheard by Blackbberry ‘n’ me. -
Hanson Now Or 1997? Or Would It Matter?
College Roommate #1: Dude… I think I dress like Hanson.
Roommate #2: I can’t talk to you anymore!Minneapolis, Room next to the kitchen
Overheard by Roomie #3. -
Good, Because I Already Did
Short-haired college girl (to guy friend): So, is it okay if I fart in front of you?
Guy friend: (pause) Well, you’re gay right? Then I guess it’s okay.St Paul, House off of E2
Overheard by a.lil. -
Give Us Some Love
20-something, while at his friend’s house in St. Paul: Oh yeah, sorry. Sometimes I forget St. Paul exists.
St. Paulite: Oh, so you’re one of THOSE.
Other friend: Yeah, sometimes I forget it exists, too.
St. Paulite: But you live in St. Paul!St. Paul, Houswarming
Overheard by Sometimes I forget you exist. -
You Can Pay For Those Now
Dude well on his way to an epic hangover: Damn this biological conspiracy that made me born without boobs!
Dinkytown, The Blue House
Overheard by The soberest guy in the room. -
All Is Forgiven!
Angry looking white lady stomping up the stairs to her apartment building, yelling: I don’t need to play games with you anymore!
Pleading, musclebound African American thug: I ain’t playin’ games! Girl, that was my EX fiance! She’s trippin’! We ain’t gettin’ married next month! We ain’t even bangin’ no more!Minneapolis, 22nd and Nicollet
Overheard by How do you get women ever? -
Just Go To Your Happy Place
Teen, on a porch painting a little girl’s toenails: Andy! (yelling into the house) Have you gotten that box yet?
Andy, coming out: Yep. (sets down the box and tries to run back inside)
Teen: Not so fast, Andy (little girl giggles). You’re next!
Andy: I HATE IT WHEN MOM LET’S YOU BABYSIT!!!Minneapolis, Dinkytown
Overheard by Metro’s not a bad way to go. -
That Won’t Be The Drama-Free Situation You’re Looking For
Man to his wife and daughter who have been bickering: I am so sick of females. I’m going to be gay and live with all males.
Onamia, Birch Street
Overheard by daughter who is staying out of it. -
He Ran Out Of Butt Nickles
Girl: Ben, you can’t just go throwing around your penis quarter at anyone. Some people don’t like that too much.
Minnetonka Mills
Overheard by well that’s odd. -
Oh, And They Kill
55+ woman: Fine by me… how much cocaine can you even buy for $180 bucks? Probably only, like, a gram. (long pause) Ya know, that’s the problem with drugs these days. They are so expensive.
Minneapolis Backyard
Overheard by Her Niece. -
Moral: Don’t Get Grounded
Girl on cell: YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN’T GET HIGH ANYMORE! Well, come to the commons and we can make out instead. I’d get your girlfriend to come and make out with you if she wasn’t fuckin’ grounded again. ‘Kay, see you soon.
Excelsior Commons
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