8-year-old boy, to another 8-year-old boy: Let’s go play in traffic!

Outside my house, St. Paul
Overheard by Dylan.

Young African American Twin Boy Jumping on Backyard Trampoline #1: Shit man…
Young African American Twin Boy Jumping on Backyard Trampoline #2: Whaaaat?
Young African American Twin Boy Jumping on Backyard Trampoline #1: STOP F—IN’ STEPPIN’ ON MY DNA!!!

My parent’s backyard
Overheard by Well I guess he told YOU.

Young kids playing in neighbors yard: Can I get handcuffed to someone?

Uptown Backyard
Overheard by They sure grow up fast.

Electricians working in my room downstairs: You can look but you can’t touch! You can’t touch!

South Minneapolis house
Overheard by I sure hope they weren’t looking in my nightstand drawer!

Electrician on the phone with landlady: I’m just going to put the light fixture in tomorrow, if that’s ok. I cut the power upstairs, but then everything went dark, and I couldn’t see if I was mixing up the wires. I would hate to accidentally mix up the wires and watch the place burn down.

bathroom across the hall
Overheard by Are you sure you’re qualified for that?

Little girl to a group of her father’s coworkers at their home: I’m taking swimming lessons!
20 something woman: That’s great! Do you know doggy style?

Kenwood Home
Overheard by you mean doggy paddle?

Girl #1 is fixing her shirt and bra
Girl #2: Are you wearing two bras?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I need the support.

at a house in crystal
Overheard by girl #1 isn’t blonde.

Teen girl in response to hearing plans for the evening: Can you be more pacific about that? Not gonna go with, you gotta give me more info.

Friend’s basment
Overheard by wow, I’ve got to get out of this place.

Little blonde suburban girl (Upon hearing an African-American singer on stage): I wish I was black. I REALLY, REALLY wish I was black!
Blonde girl doing her hair and make up: I hate being a white person!!

My Apartment
Overheard by yeah, it is rather disadventageous.

Grandpa, opening birthday present: Ooh, what’s this? [a model airplane] Did you boys make this yourselves?
Grandson: No, we got it from our other grandpa. He found it in the garbage!

Lake Elmo
Overheard by Kittenpie.

Roommate on the phone with her friend, explaining why he shouldn’t do blow: That shit’s bad for your…everything!

kitchen
Overheard by i learn so much from roommates.

Random college boy: This is Wayzata. Everyone owns their own Porsche.

high-class Wayzata restaurant
Overheard by out-of-town ‘94 Nissan driver.

Frantic suburban mom: Where’s my daughter?
Other woman: She’s right over there.
Frantic suburban mom: Oh. Well, I was just worried because this IS Minneapolis.

Quiet, private building in Mpls
Overheard by there’s no crime in the ‘burbs?

Barefoot girl buzzing every apartment in the building because she forgot which unit her friends were in: I wasn’t trying to be obnoxious or anything.

downtown Minneapolis apartment at 5AM

Father and son watching coyote hunting on the Outdoor channel.
Son: If there were toilets in the forest, coyotes would drink out of them.
Father: Yup.

TV room in remote Minnesota
Overheard by Mother.

Hippy guy sitting cross-legged at the bella luna music festival: (right after he takes a suspicious-looking candy-like object from his friend and puts it in his mouth) What’s this?

Harmony Park
Overheard by I hope he doesn’t try to give any to me…

Two children playing an imaginary game of pirates
5 year old girl: Look! The pirates are attacking! We have to go fight them!
3 year old boy: But it’s not Tuesday!!

Minnetonka
Overheard by a babysitter laughing her non-pirate butt off.

6 year old girl quietly to 4 and 5 year old friends: (after dad shows them a magnet that made it look like he had his ear periced) At first I thought it was a bluetooth.

st.paul home
Overheard by oy vey.

African American Security Guard: Ma’am, if you act that way again, you’re not coming back here.
African American woman: Because I told that kid to stop? You’d better watch how you talk to people!
African American Security Guard: Ma’am, you’ll have to leave. We can’t have language like you used a little while ago in here.
African American woman: Man! Black people!

Minneapolis Public Housing
Overheard by Um, but…aren’t you…?

Over-dramatic honor student arguing at a party: I’m just a footnote to you!

indie kid house party
Overheard by i prefer works cited pages.