27th August 2008

Off To A Good Start

Woman #1: So, I was watching the Democratic National Convention last night…
Woman #2: Oh, is that here?

Saint Paul, Women’s restroom just a few block from where the RNC will be next week…
Overheard by Amazed and saddened.

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24th August 2008

Why Do People Think This Is Okay?

Drunk 40 year old dude #1, standing in line for the bathroom: Well, there are 4 sinks. We only need 2 with the number of people I’ve seen wash their hands.
Drunk 40 year old dude #2: Yeah. There was this one time I was peeing in the sink at home, and my wife walked in. She was pissed. Good times.

Minnesota Zoo - Music In the Zoo
Overheard by slight overshare.

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22nd August 2008

They’re Good But Their Smoothies Always Make Me Feel Funny

Idiot #1 in bathroom stall: Have you heard of that Pineapple Express?
Idiot #2: Oh yeah! That’s that new smoothie place in the mall!

MOA bathroom

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15th August 2008

Christine Is The Bride

Drunk valley girl in the bathroom (conspiratorily): Ok, like, I’m not supposed to tell anyone this, but Christine MIGHT be leaving early.
Friend: Really? Oh my God, I can’t believe that.
(long silence)
Voice from a stall: Are guys waiting for me to say something?
Drunk valley girl: Oh my God, Christine, are you in here?!?

St. Paul, Bathroom at a wedding
Overheard by check the feet under the stalls next time, sweetie

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6th August 2008

Sometimes It Is Work

Man in public bathroom, on cell phone: Umm… sitting at work?

In the men’s bathroom downtown Minneapolis
Overheard by trying to clearly tell the other person on the line that he’s in a bathroom.

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18th July 2008

We Never Heard From Him Again

Little kid in bathroom stall, to his mom: Mommy, is it the button on the side here to flush?
Mother, in stall next to him: Yes, honey.
Little kid: (long pause)  But I’m scared.
Mother, reassuringly: It’s a brand new toilet honey, you don’t need to be scared.

New Walmart, Austin MN
Overheard by …but you should be scared of the old toilets.

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14th July 2008

Not In The Bathroom

Angry 20something walking out of bathroom with friend: You’ve never made HOLLANDAISE?!

Bathroom, Calhoun Square
Overheard by aeh.

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6th July 2008

Chase It!

20 yr old in bathroom stall: Hey! There’s a rainbow in the toilet!

Ridgedale Target Bathroom
Overheard by Was there a pot of gold too?

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6th July 2008

Who Says St Paulites Don’t Know How To Have Fun?

Young yuppie kid at urinal: Dude, I wish there was a privacy wall between these urinals?
Middle aged Biker at next urinal: Why, you got a small dick?

A hole in the wall Bar in Saint Paul
Overheard by Guy in the stall.

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4th June 2008

They Are Good Looking Cans

Guy #1 to Guy #2, each at urinals:  So, I was walking home last night and I saw a dude throw a can onto the ground.  At first I thought, “Hey, pick that up,” but then I saw that it was a can of Surly and I was all like, “Awesome!  I totally made that can!”
Guy #2:  That’s awesome.

Surly Cynic Ale launch party at the CC Club
Overheard by good thing these guys don’t handle nuclear waste.

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22nd April 2008

Mouth, Meet Foot

Woman teammate trying to figure out other teammate’s sexual orientation: So, I saw you drive up with a guy and some kids.
Other teammate: That was my girlfriend.

In the bathroom at Station 4
Overheard by At least now you know she’s a lesbian.

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19th April 2008

That’s Great, Kid, Don’t Touch Me Anymore

Kid: And I locked the door all by myself, neat huh?
Woman: Mmm… uh huh.
Kid: But I didn’t touch the water. Did you know that I touched the water once when I was 2? But I DIDN’T touch the poop. That would be dangerous!
Woman (obviously not listening): Okay.

Waconia grocery store bathroom
Overheard by and the yellow water isn’t dangerous?

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13th April 2008

We’re Headed Out After He Gets Back From The Liquor Store

Girl #1: I told him he’d have to get me more drunk if he wanted to do that to me.
Girl #2: How long have you two been married now?
Girl #1: Almost two years.

Como Park Conservatory bathroom
Overheard by Wedding Crasher.

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