Posts Tagged ‘restrooms’

  • Not If You Keep Breaking My Concentration

    Date: 2010.07.22 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Little boy to mother in stall: Mom, what’s taking so long? Are ya poopin?
    Mom: I’m still in here. I’ll be out in a second.
    Boy: But are ya poopin?
    Mom: I’ll be out in a second.
    Boy: Yeah, but are ya poopin?

    Minneapolis, Women’s restroom at Orchestra Hall
    Overheard by someone just trying to wash their hands.

  • If It’s Not Adam Lambert Then I Don’t Care!

    Date: 2009.11.17 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Teen Girl #1, referring to Cab Calloway song playing from overhead speakers: Ugh! What IS this music?
    Teen Girl# 2: Uh, Opera.

    St. Paul, restroom in Mancini’s Char House and Lounge
    Overheard by Coco.

  • Can’t Wait!

    Date: 2009.08.17 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Little boy in bathroom stall next to me: Mom! It’s not all coming out!
    Mom in stall with boy: It’s okay, just keep trying.
    Little boy (crying hysterically): Mom, I can’t get it out! (more crying, flushing) Mom, it didn’t all come out!!!
    Mom: It’s okay, I’ll give you some prunes when we get home.

    Airport bathroom
    Overheard by I like prunes.

  • Try The Nachos

    Date: 2009.08.10 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Girl: Oh man. Nothing’s coming out.

    Burnsville, toilet stall at Burnsville movie theater
    Overheard by girl in next stall.

  • Let’s Decide What Stays And What Goes

    Date: 2009.07.06 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Woman talking to herself in bathroom stall: Okay, now let’s see what we’ve got in here.

    Minneapolis, Investor’s 10th floor
    Overheard by EJ.

  • Wrap Your Head Around That One!

    Date: 2009.07.01 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Coworker: They sent an invitation on the computer. It was an e-invitation. On e-mail.

    Bloomington, Nasty work bathroom
    Overheard by I was told there would be bacon.

  • Maybe That’s Why She Wants To Be A Panda

    Date: 2009.05.24 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Girl in bathroom stall: I work with this girl named Panda.  No, Pandy.  Well, she thinks she’s a panda and she’s not.  And she’s NOT cool.

    Minneapolis, Key’s Cafe
    Overheard by Big Sister is Listening.

  • Know Your Alcohol Limit

    Date: 2009.05.07 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Girl #1 in bathroom stall to girl #2 in bathroom stall: Do you think Jane*’s pretty?
    Girl #2: Yes, but she has that pig nose.
    Girl #1: She totally does. Do you think she’ll get swine flu?
    Girl #2: (totally silent)

    St. Louis Park, McCoy’s ladies room
    Overheard by So happy I don’t have a pig nose!

  • We’ll Never Get You Out In Time

    Date: 2009.05.05 | Category: all | Response: 0

    From the next stall over: Don’t fall into that toilet! I need to pee in there.

    Saint Paul, Science Museum
    Overheard by me.

  • And I Have A Warrant For Your Arrest

    Date: 2009.05.04 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Guy #1: This stripper won’t stop texting me.
    Guy #2, across the room: You better be texting her back.
    Guy #1: Don’t worry, I’ve got a 17 year old for you, too.
    Guy #2: Too old.
    Guy #1: I got a 12 year old who still sleeps with the light on.
    Guy #2: PERFECT.

    Metrodome Men’s Bathroom
    Overheard by Pissed that beer sales ended in the 7th inning and its the 11th.

  • Could I Get Some Help?

    Date: 2009.04.14 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Man at urinal to man at other urinal: It’s just too big to jiggle or wiggle.

    Minnetonka, Men’s Room, Test Scoring Center
    Overheard by In a stall, couldn’t see if it was true.

  • I’ve Heard That Before

    Date: 2009.04.09 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Young boy in ladies stall with his mom: Mommy, can I see your butt?
    Mother: No.
    Boy: Come on, I won’t tell anyone.

    Edina, Target bathroom

  • Go Put It Back

    Date: 2009.04.08 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Woman, flinging door of bathroom stall open upon finishing: Whoop, there it is!

    Metrodome, Twins Home Opener
    Overheard by I think I’ll  wait for the  next available…

  • Did Everyone Get A Good Idea For Dinner Just Now?

    Date: 2009.03.09 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Drunk bro #1 in bathroom talking to guy in the stall: I’ll just wait for you. You poop then I’ll poop.
    Drunk bro #2, guy in stall: (silence, minor grunting)
    Drunk bro #1: I’ll run some water for you, so you don’t have to hear it. 
    Drunk bro #2: That smells, dude. No, it smells healthy, like beefsteak.

    St Paul, Billy’s On Grand
    Overheard by i picked the wrong time to take a leak.

  • I Think You Answered That, Buddy

    Date: 2009.03.03 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Man at urinal: God, it hurts to piss! I need to get my herpes medication again. (whimpering) What’s wrong with me?

    Roseville, Rosedale bathroom
    Overheard by the ddf guy in the shitter.

  • Yes You Can! We Believe In You!

    Date: 2009.02.25 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Guy in a port-a-potty with NO ONE else arond: I just can’t do it there!

    Minneapolis, Marquette and 8th, construction site
    Overheard by WOW!! TMI.

  • Works Every Time

    Date: 2009.02.23 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Woman in stall: Well, I know how to make him; get drunk and have sex with a homeless man.

    Saint Paul, Ladies Room at the Xcel Energy Center – Wild Game
    Overheard by Ladies nearest the Stall.

  • It’s The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Experienced

    Date: 2009.02.19 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Woman entering women’s restroom:  Oh no, there’s a LONG line.  And it’s ALL women.

    Roseville, AMC
    Overheard by He’s totally into me…

  • You Can Do Something About That

    Date: 2009.01.26 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Man in stall, on the phone: Yeah man,yYou need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Who ever can give you drugs for this. (pause) Yeah kids can make you go crazy. I understand. (walks out of stall with his 8 year old son and starts washing hands; still on phone).
    Son: I love you, Dad.
    Man still on phone, ignores child: Kids; yeah, I’ve got my hands full.

    Roseville, Rosedale AMC Theather’s Men’s Restroom
    Overheard by Just trying to pee.

  • There’s Probably A Prescription Advertised On TV For That

    Date: 2009.01.25 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Girl #1: I pee all the time. I must have a bladder the size of a pea.
    Girl #2: Uh-oh. You know what that means.
    Girl #1: Enlarging prostate?

    Roseville, Rosedale Mall bathroom
    Overheard by Is there something you haven’t told us?