Liquor store clerk: You want a bag for that?
Liquor store patron with bottle of vodka: Nah, I’ll drink it in the car.

Robbinsdale, RC Liquors
Overheard by He was kidding… right?

Druggie girl: Dude, why does this always happen to me around lunchtime? My body, like, empties itself just so I can fill it up again!

Robbinsdale, Cooper High School Lunchroom
Overheard by It’s called poopin’, sweetheart.

Annoying freshman girl: So, I saw this big biker guy the other day. His shirt was a-flappin’ in the breeze, and he had a tramp stamp!

Robbinsdale, Cooper High School math
Overheard by That was totally me.

Way too loud guy: HEY, JOHN*! WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BE GAY?!

Robbinsdale, Cooper High Hallway
Overheard by Yes, please inform the public.

Pre-teen to his rowdy friends: Yeah, ’cause Sandburg grass rocks!

Cooper High Summer School/Activities
Overheard by Well, I once went there… Glad to see there are still no complaints about the greenery.

Stoner:  I know why there are no dealers in Plymouth!
Not quite a stoner:  Yeah?  Why?
Stoner:  All the streets are curvy, there’s no corners for them!
Not quite a stoner:  Hmmm, yeah, you’re right.

Cooper High School Lunch Room
Overheard by Not a Nerd.

PETA girl: Eeew I can’t do this! (looking at fetal pig in bio class)
Guy: Look, it is easy, see it’s cute, you can hold it.
PETA girl: No, gross.
Guy: No, really, you can hold it just like a baby, then you cut it up. It’s cool.

Cooper High School Science Class
Overheard by Not a nerd.

Ghetto girl: Man, what color is a chicken? (loudly)
Guy: Are you serious?
Ghetto girl: Yeah, what color is a chicken?
Guy: You mean like, the feathers?
Ghetto girl: Naw, the meat, the drumstick! What color is a chicken?
Guy: [laughing]

Cooper High School History Class
Overheard by Not a nerd.

Girl: I like Oprah!
Guy: I think she’s annoying.
Girl: That’s racist!
Guy: What? That makes no sense. I don’t hate her cause she’s black, I hate her cause she’s annoying.
Girl: You’re still racist.
Guy: Whatever.

Cooper High School
Overheard by Not a nerd.

High School Thug: Can I borrow your calcalater?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to give it back.
High School Thug: Don’t worry, I’m not gonna take it, I’m not full black.

Cooper High School
Overheard by Not a nerd.

Random kid in Cooper hallway: …kisses like a dog, so I don’t care.

Cooper High School

Sophomore girl: My earballs hurt!
Sophomore boy: What? You don’t have…
Sophomore girl: You know, you have eyeballs, so my earballs hurt.
Sophomore boy: Whatever.

Robbinsdale Cooper High School History Class
Overheard by Not a nerd.

Woman in converation about carnival workers: I’ll go drop $5 on the ring toss. I want to support the carnies. They need to get drunk and high tonight and somebody needs to pay for that shit!

Robbinsdale “Whiz Bang Days”
Overheard by I hope they’re sharing.

Preppy girl: I don’t care what you guys think! Just because I get everything I ask for, it doesn’t mean I’m spoiled!

Robbinsdale Cooper High School
Overheard by Um, yes you are!

Brunette Student: Let’s get Chinese food later.
Blonde Student: I don’t want to get fat, let’s get something else.
Brunette Student: You can’t get fat eating Chinese food, look at all the people in China, they aren’t fat.

Robbinsdale Cooper High School Cafeteria
Overheard by Only three more years.