Freshman guy: You’d be surprised; my pants are surprisingly flexible.

Roseville, Northwestern College
Overheard by All that Yoga’s finally paid off.

Teenage Boy: Don’t you ever take your underwear straight out of the dryer and put them on and be, like, WOOOOHHH!!!

Roseville, RAHS
Overheard by What was going on before then?

Teenage Girl talking to her friend about New Years Eve plans: I don’t want to get dressed-dressed up because I’m just going to get drunk anyway.

Roseville, Rosedale Center, Macy’s junior department
Overheard by stay classy.

Professor, to student about possible reasons they might not have been feeling well: When you pickle something, you just never know.

Roseville, Northwestern College
Overheard by I am now wary of the sauerkraut.

College girl: Is that guy EATING someone?
Other college kids: He’s a zombie.
College girl: Do zombies EAT people?!

Roseville AMC, Zombieland
Overheard by her level of ignorance is almost impressive.

College guy: Boy George makes Elton John look like Rambo.

Roseville, Northwestern College
Overheard by And Capote is Rocky?

Woman in her 20’s to friend: This is where I lost my virginity!

Roseville, AMC Rosedale 14
Overheard by Lucky you…

Woman in next cube: Well, what if the bear was on acid?

Roseville, in the office
Overheard by So what if it was.

College girl: So, are you, like, deaf in one ear?
College guy: Well, sort of. It’s like 40 percent.
College girl: So, can you hear me right now?

Roseville, Northwestern College
Overheard by No, he just mastered telepathy.

Old man to another old man: Look what happens when I bend over.

Roseville, Rainbow Foods parking lot
Overheard by Driving away as fast as I can.

8 year old boy to his father: Now this is how to pollute the earth the right way!

Roseville, Central Park, 4th of July fireworks
Overheard by a concerned citizen.

Man talking about his strong genetics and family life-span: I’m convinced Dad would still be alive if he hadn’t been hit by that car!

Roseville, Kohl’s
Overheard by person who didn’t want to be in Kohl’s in the first place.

Man:  I hate being single!!  I just wish I could find a decent girl to get serious with and bring home to meet mom.
Woman:  What happened to that Katie girl?
Man:  I texted her at 2am on Friday night to see if she wanted to hook up and she said no.
Woman:  She sounds like a decent girl to me.
Man:  No way.  The decent ones are always up for the booty calls.

Roseville, bar table at Applebee’s
Overheard by Mom approved booty call?

Girl #1, listening to a rainforest ringtone on her cell phone: Who would want a ringtone like this?
Girl #2: Yeah, what is that even supposed to be?
Girl #1: A rainforest.
Girl #2: But it sounds like water. What sounds like water in a rainforest?

Roseville, Snuffy’s
Overheard by uh, RAIN?

College girl passing the tween lingerie section: Wow, those are cute bras!
College guy: Those are child-sized bras.
College girl: Well, I have child-sized boobs.
College guy: Hey, can I put that on Overheard?

Roseville, Super Target
Overheard by I have normal-sized boobs.

Complete Douche in Training #1: Dude, doesn’t that chick totally look like the one you went down on a couple of weeks ago at John’s* party?
Complete Douche in Training #2: Yeah, Totally!  She was super young though, like 16 or something.
Complete Douche in Training #1: I still feel sort of bad for running into the room mid-act, stealing her pants and then throwing them on the roof.
Complete Douche in Training #2: Yeah.

Roseville, L.A. Fitness
Overheard by I weep for the future.

Kid #1: Why weren’t you at soccer practice yesterday?
Kid #2: Well, I was running away from my brother and I tripped over a rock which broke my toe. Then, on the way home to tell my mom, my foot slipped off the pedal of my bike and tore up my leg so I had to get 10 stitches.
Kid #1: Well, that sounds like a bad day.
Kid #2: Eh, overall it was a pretty solid day.
Kid #1: How?
Kid #2: I found a $20 bill in the Hospital.

Roseville, RAHS
Overheard by Money is all that matters.

Kid #1 playing Halo 3 on Xbox: Hey man, how’s it going?
Kid #2: What did you say, I didn’t understand?
Kid #1 playing Halo 3 on Xbox: How could you not understand that? I mean, do you have dyslexia of the ear?

Roseville, at home
Overheard by CHUBBY2THEMAX

Girl #1: What are sea monkeys?
Girl #2: These weird fish things.
Girl #3: They’re these nasty little orgasms!
Girl #1: ORGASMS??
Girl #3: Organisms! I meant organisms.

Roseville, HarMar Mall
Overheard by what ARE they, anyway?

Dude #1: Sometimes the change of seasons makes it hard to sleep.
Dude #2: My cat does that to me. Little fucker.
Dude #1: Liquor.
Dude #2: Dude, he’s a male.

Roseville, Rosedale – Computer store
Overheard by Okay with licking but not the gender?