Posts Tagged ‘roseville’
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Will This Take Long?
Old man to another old man: Look what happens when I bend over.
Roseville, Rainbow Foods parking lot
Overheard by Driving away as fast as I can. -
It’s The Most Fun Way
8 year old boy to his father: Now this is how to pollute the earth the right way!
Roseville, Central Park, 4th of July fireworks
Overheard by a concerned citizen. -
Followed By A Long Awkward Silence
Man talking about his strong genetics and family life-span: I’m convinced Dad would still be alive if he hadn’t been hit by that car!
Roseville, Kohl’s
Overheard by person who didn’t want to be in Kohl’s in the first place. -
But Only On Tuesdays
Man: I hate being single!! I just wish I could find a decent girl to get serious with and bring home to meet mom.
Woman: What happened to that Katie girl?
Man: I texted her at 2am on Friday night to see if she wanted to hook up and she said no.
Woman: She sounds like a decent girl to me.
Man: No way. The decent ones are always up for the booty calls.Roseville, bar table at Applebee’s
Overheard by Mom approved booty call? -
Rain, Waterfalls, And Disappointment
Girl #1, listening to a rainforest ringtone on her cell phone: Who would want a ringtone like this?
Girl #2: Yeah, what is that even supposed to be?
Girl #1: A rainforest.
Girl #2: But it sounds like water. What sounds like water in a rainforest?Roseville, Snuffy’s
Overheard by uh, RAIN? -
No
College girl passing the tween lingerie section: Wow, those are cute bras!
College guy: Those are child-sized bras.
College girl: Well, I have child-sized boobs.
College guy: Hey, can I put that on Overheard?Roseville, Super Target
Overheard by I have normal-sized boobs. -
I Think That Means They Completed The Course
Complete Douche in Training #1: Dude, doesn’t that chick totally look like the one you went down on a couple of weeks ago at John’s* party?
Complete Douche in Training #2: Yeah, Totally! She was super young though, like 16 or something.
Complete Douche in Training #1: I still feel sort of bad for running into the room mid-act, stealing her pants and then throwing them on the roof.
Complete Douche in Training #2: Yeah.Roseville, L.A. Fitness
Overheard by I weep for the future. -
Put It Towards Your Medical Bills
Kid #1: Why weren’t you at soccer practice yesterday?
Kid #2: Well, I was running away from my brother and I tripped over a rock which broke my toe. Then, on the way home to tell my mom, my foot slipped off the pedal of my bike and tore up my leg so I had to get 10 stitches.
Kid #1: Well, that sounds like a bad day.
Kid #2: Eh, overall it was a pretty solid day.
Kid #1: How?
Kid #2: I found a $20 bill in the Hospital.Roseville, RAHS
Overheard by Money is all that matters. -
The Official Diagnosis Is Xboxitis Of The Attention Span
Kid #1 playing Halo 3 on Xbox: Hey man, how’s it going?
Kid #2: What did you say, I didn’t understand?
Kid #1 playing Halo 3 on Xbox: How could you not understand that? I mean, do you have dyslexia of the ear?Roseville, at home
Overheard by CHUBBY2THEMAX -
She’s Thinking About A Different Kind Of Sea Monkey
Girl #1: What are sea monkeys?
Girl #2: These weird fish things.
Girl #3: They’re these nasty little orgasms!
Girl #1: ORGASMS??
Girl #3: Organisms! I meant organisms.Roseville, HarMar Mall
Overheard by what ARE they, anyway? -
And A CAT
Dude #1: Sometimes the change of seasons makes it hard to sleep.
Dude #2: My cat does that to me. Little fucker.
Dude #1: Liquor.
Dude #2: Dude, he’s a male.Roseville, Rosedale – Computer store
Overheard by Okay with licking but not the gender? -
I Think You Answered That, Buddy
Man at urinal: God, it hurts to piss! I need to get my herpes medication again. (whimpering) What’s wrong with me?
Roseville, Rosedale bathroom
Overheard by the ddf guy in the shitter. -
But They’re Ripped From The Headlines!
Girl #1: That Law and Order episode was so scary!
Girl #2: Yeah! I can’t believe that really happened!
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Well, isn’t Law and Order real?
Girl #1 (cracking up): Umm, no!
Girl #2: Wait, I thought it was true! Like Cops!
Girl #3: What’s Cops?Roseville, Target
Overheard by I apologize Dick Wolf. -
It’s The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Experienced
Woman entering women’s restroom: Oh no, there’s a LONG line. And it’s ALL women.
Roseville, AMC
Overheard by He’s totally into me… -
I Can Almost Hear Her Headache
Dumb Girl: Uh, I don’t get it; first you said that they had a democratic government and then you said they had a Republican party. How can they have a Republican party if they’re a DEMOCRATIC government!?
Roseville, Minneapolis Business College
Overheard by How the hell did you even get in here? -
You Can Do Something About That
Man in stall, on the phone: Yeah man,yYou need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Who ever can give you drugs for this. (pause) Yeah kids can make you go crazy. I understand. (walks out of stall with his 8 year old son and starts washing hands; still on phone).
Son: I love you, Dad.
Man still on phone, ignores child: Kids; yeah, I’ve got my hands full.Roseville, Rosedale AMC Theather’s Men’s Restroom
Overheard by Just trying to pee. -
There’s Probably A Prescription Advertised On TV For That
Girl #1: I pee all the time. I must have a bladder the size of a pea.
Girl #2: Uh-oh. You know what that means.
Girl #1: Enlarging prostate?Roseville, Rosedale Mall bathroom
Overheard by Is there something you haven’t told us? -
At Least He’s Not At WalMart
Man in Target aisle: Tim, am I a terrible person?
Friend, unhesitatingly: YES.Roseville, SuperTarget
Overheard by I’m not in a position to judge. -
Is That Something You Get Paid For?
Girl, clearly freezing: For someone who spends most of my time outside in spandex, I should be more used to this.
Roseville, Rosedale Parkinglot
Overheard by what? -
It’s This Season’s Top Look
20-something girl to friend: The thing about stretch jeans is after I wear them for a while it looks like I shit my pants.
Roseville, fitting rooms at Express in Rosedale Center
Overheard by The Perils of Stretchy Jeans.
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