Posts Tagged ‘shopping’
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Or For Anyone Within Earshot Of This Story
Cashier: I love February. My birthday, Valentine’s Day…
Customer: It’s a great month for you.
Cashier: Sure is. It wasn’t a great month for Whitney Houston, though.St Paul, Target
Overheard by smoothd. -
We All Believe In Something
Bootylicious Girl #1: Girl, I can’t believe you did that with him. You nasty.
Bootylicious Girl #2: No, girl! I went to church twice last weekend, so it don’t count.
Bootylicious Girl #1: Oh, well you didn’t say that. Still, that’s nasty.
Bootylicious Girl #2: Ya, but God forgives me.Minneapolis, Downtown Target
Overheard by Do The Wiggle. -
I Brought My Own Bag
Checkout Clerk: Hi! Would you like your face wrapped in plastic?
Minneapolis, Whole Foods on Excelsior
Overheard by sxoidmal. -
I Don’t Follow
Customer in line, to cashier: What’s the deal with the 4-for-$9 on Pepsi products?
Cashier to bag boy: Hey, what’s the deal with the 4-for-$9 on Pepsi products?
Bag boy, to cashier: You buy 4 you get them for $9.
Cashier to customer: You buy 4 you get them for $9.
Customer: Oh.Chanhassen, Byerly’s
Overheard by shopper #8. -
That’s An Important Distinction In Rogers
Girl #1: You going to get it?
Girl #2 coming out of dressing room with plaid shirt: No.
Girl #1: Why not?! It’s cute!
Girl #2: It’s a little too much farmer and not enough hipster.Rogers, Target
Overheard by me. -
Roseville Never Sleeps
Fourteen year-old-girl: I feel like we’re in New York City or something.
Roseville, The new Forever 21 in Rosedale
Overheard by Really? -
That’s Why I Go To Canada
Teenage girl outside Chipotle with friends: It’s not like an American can make a real burrito.
Roseville, Rosedale Mall
Overheard by Laughing on the inside. -
Then It Can’t Be Authentic
20-something woman customer: Do you have any nun costumes?
50-something woman employee: Yes, right over here. Oh, they aren’t sexy, though.St Paul, Twin Cities Magic and Costume Shop
Overheard by smooth d. -
Let’s Play “Which Is Worse?”
4-year old girl, pointing to package of men’s underwear: Mom, why is his pete so thick?
St. Louis Park, TJ Maxx
Overheard by B. -
It’s Open Season On The Intelligent Ones
Thin Teenager #1: You know what sucks about having fat friends you really like?
Thin Teenager #2: Uh uh, what?
Thin Teenager #1: You can’t make fun of fat people anymore ’cause you feel bad for your fat friend.
Thin Teenager #2: Oh yeah, but we can still make fun of ugly people.
Thin Teenager #1: Yeah, ’cause all our friends are pretty. Even the fat girls, sort of.Roseville, Borders Bookstore, Rosedale Mall
Overheard by skinny guy. -
I Forgot Them At Home
Female voice behind bookshelf: Okay, now, let me see your balls.
Maple Grove, Borders Bookstore
Overheard by Really Hoping She’s Talking About Toys… -
Can’t Buy Love Unless It’s On A Payment Plan
Girl: I really love these moccasins! I wish I could buy them.
Boy: I could buy them for you!
Girl: Really? You would do that for me? (eyelashes batting)
Boy: Well yeah, I would just take it out of the $40 I owe you.
Girl: Oh.Fridley, Super Target
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The Same Thing You Told Her The Last Time This Didn’t Work
Old Man on Cell Phone seated beside another old man at an otherwise empty table: We have three broads here and there’s only two of us. (Pause) Well what are we going to tell the third girl?
St. Louis Park, Knollwood Mall
Overheard by That’s one way to get him out of the house. -
You’ll Have Better Odds With The Shirt
Young woman, to bag boy opening her freshly purchased water using his shirt to cover the cap: That’s OK, you can just use your hands.
Bag boy: You don’t know where my hands have been.
Young woman: I don’t know where your shirt has been either.Minneapolis, Uptown Lunds
Overheard by Funkytown? -
Not Nearly Enough
4-year-old boy sitting in cart putting on sunglasses: Mom, do these make me look bad ass?
Startled mother looking at pens: We don’t talk about that. Wait, where did you get that from??
Boy: Batman. Do these look bad ass?Coon Rapids, Pen asile at Officemax
Overheard by Officemax Employee. -
No Hablo Ingles
Frazzled White Haired Older Woman to 20 something Best Buy Employee: If I said the word “Wi-Fi” to you, would you know what that means?
Edina, Best Buy
Overheard by These people really exist! -
Clear Your Schedule
Middle-aged woman to husband: Look, honey! Beer pong!
Minneapolis, Uptown Urban Outfitters
Overheard by a hipster. -
My Favorite Conflict Resolution
Mom to 5-year-old son about his baby teethers: Stop putting those things all over your arms; you’re freaking people out.
Son: You’re freaking ME out!
Mom: We won’t be able to shop here again unless we bring these ladies some booze.Maple Grove, Little Feet Children’s Shoes
Overheard by worker who would gladly accept that offer. -
Katie Just Lost Her Appetite
Grandfather to adult daughter and young granddaughter: Would you and Katie like some beans?
Daughter: Hell yes! Me and Katie’d eat the shit out of those beans!St. Louis Park, Cub Foods
Overheard by Doesn’t like beans that much. -
He Brought The Wrong Shopping List
Middle-aged man to his frustrated, shopping-cart-pushing wife: Why? Is it NOT OK to talk about sex toys in Rainbow Foods??
St. Louis Park, Rainbow Foods
Overheard by No, it’s ok. Just not in front of me…or the kiddies in the cereal aisle.
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