Posts Tagged ‘shopping’
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But That Was, Like, A Lot Of Months Ago
College-age girl with pink hair: Ugh. I haven’t sold a single knife, like, ALL MONTH. I suck at this. I should just give up on life now.
College-age guy: Whoa, now, don’t go all Williy Loman on me.
College-age girl: Who?
College-age guy: Willy Loman. Main character from Death of a Salesman? We read it in Lit last semester.
College-age girl: Oh. Right. He was all depressed, but didn’t everything work out okay for him?
(pause)
College-age guy: Jenny, the play is called “Death of…” Remind me again how you passed that class?Minnetonka, Ridgedale Mall, Food Court
Overheard by Sparknotes? -
But You’re Still Grounded
Girl arguing with her mother: But mom, I’m, like, almost 16, I think I know what’s best for my baby.
Richfield, Babies R US
Overheard by Elizabeth C. -
A Full Time Job May Not Be In His Future
Little boy to Dad: But Dad, how am I supposed to get better at video games if I’m stuck in school for 7 hours?
Bloomington, Target
Overheard by Children are our future? -
From OUTER SPACE
Quiet up until she said it girl: OH MY GOD! I never thought about this, but Narwhals are TOTALLY mammals!
Minneapolis, Dreamhaven
Overheard by toasterb0t. -
These Dresses Just Don’t Know How To Merge
Woman on cell in a dressing room: I’ll be there in 10 minutes, the traffic is horrible right now!
Minneapolis, Opitz
Overheard by Julee B. -
It Was A Piano Recital
8 Year Old Boy #1: Hey, you played at First Avenue, right?
8 Year Old Boy #2: Yeah.
8 Year Old Boy #1: So, did you get your name on the wall?
8 Year Old Boy #2: Yeah, I think so.Minnetonka, Ridgedale Mall
Overheard by Uh, I don’t think so. -
Too Close To Home
Old male customer: The printout says I have to add it everytime I come in here, but my pH never rises.
Young female employee: Well, every pool is different. Some people can’t keep their pH down and other people just can’t get it up.
Old male customer: (laughs)Little Canada, Poolside
Overheard by awkward… -
Just Wait Until The Kids Go Home
45 year old customer: Yeah, you should join us for the Bar-be-que! We’re going to play volleyball!
65 year old clerk: Oh, volleyball! I’d love to play. I may be old but I can still get it up!Woodbury, Men’s Warehouse
Overheard by I bet that saves you a lot on medications. -
He Blames The Economy
20-something year old guy on cell phone: I’m kind of going on a date tonight. We’re going to go to SA to eat some hotdogs. Possibly make out in the carwash.
St. Paul, CVS
Overheard by I hope he was talking about me. -
How Many Calories Does Glitter Add?
Little girl in grocery store, jumping up and down with excitement: MOM! MOM!!! Can we get the Hannah Montana cereal?
Mom, to daughter: I’m just gonna buy you Cheerios, and you can sprinkle some glitter on them.Plymouth, Rainbow Foods
Overheard by …that’s probably healthier than the Hannah Montana variety. -
Check Your Junk Folder
Male employee to female coworker: Are we still friends?
Female employee: No.
Male employee: Will you let me know when we are?
Female employee (walking away): I’ll send you an email.Minneapolis, Uptown Verizon Wireless
Overheard by getting your phone activated takes a long time. -
Because He Asked For Two Thousand
Over-privileged West Metro teen: Money doesn’t make you happy. I mean, I have a thousand bucks in my pocket, and I’m not any happier.
Minnetonka, Byerley’s Parking Lot
Overheard by passerby. -
We’d Be Great Friends
Customer, having just purchased a small item: I don’t need a bag, I can just stick this in my purse. Save a bag. (laughs)
Cashier: You can now sleep better knowing you’ve done such a great thing!
Customer: No, the red wine will do that for me.Maple Grove, Ulta
Overheard by I want wine… -
I Read That On The Internet
Walmart Floor Sweeper: If I was going to get sick from anything it would probably be alcoholism. The alcohol kills all the other germs I think.
Eagan, Walmart
Overheard by Is that why he has given up showering… -
She Shouldn’t Be Left Alone With Any Chemicals
Brunette in line with friend: Oh hey! You should get this suede cleaner for your new shoes!
Blond buying shoes: Really? Uhhh, how’s it work?
Brunette: Well, you just spray it on the shoes, then when it dries, you just use the top to brush it off .
Blond: What? How?
Brunette: Well, it dries and you can brush it off suede, no water.
Blond: No, I mean how do you put it on? There’s no sprayer and you can’t squeeze the can!
Brunette: (long pause) There’s a cap. Take the cap off.
Blond: (takes cap off) Wow! There it is!St. Louis Park, DSW
Overheard by The Paint King. -
I Can Only Think Of One Thing At A Time
Teenage girl #1, complaining to her friend about her sore legs: Seriously, I feel like my body is rising up against me or something.
Teenage girl #2: I thought that only happened with guys.
(awkward silence)
Teenage girl #1: Did you seriously just say that?Maple Grove, Arbor Lakes
Overheard by: Yes. Yes she did. -
Use Your Fingers
Future math major to her equally smart friend: What’s 75% off of four dollars? (long pause, then both give up and walk away)
Minnetonka, Ridgedale
Overheard by I would have looked at the price sheet. -
Let’s Not Make This Weirder
Hot dad to 5-yr-old daughter spanking him hard repeatedly: I said gently.
Minneapolis, Kowalski’s
Overheard by saint ramer. -
It’s A Thin Line
Not so bright customer to Deli Worker: What’s the difference between smoked turkey and smoked chicken?
Deli Worker: Uhhhhh, well, one is chicken and one’s turkey??Minneapolis, Linden Hills Coop
Overheard by Are you sure you should be out in public alone? -
The Risks With Kwik Trip Produce Are Too High Anyway
Young boy to severely overweight Mom at Kwik Trip: Apples! Mama, I want an apple!
Mom: No! You’re getting a doughnut!Rochester, Country Club Manor Kwik Trip
Overheard by I guess I don’t feel so guilty about my donut splurge today.
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