7th August 2008

Or At Least Keep The Paper Robe

Middle-aged women on cell phone: So, you know that rash I have? Well, I went to the Doctor and he was like, ‘Good luck!’ (Laughs) I know, I told him I wanted my co-pay back!

Saint Paul Saint’s Game
Overheard by Shouldn’t you be more worried about the rash?!

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31st July 2008

I’d Hold Out For Three

Lonely 20-something guy: I just want a girlfriend. I don’t care if she’s super fat or has, like, two noses.

Chaska basketball court
Overheard by three nostrils.

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10th July 2008

Being A Kid Isn’t Like It Used To Be

8 year old #1: Hey, come play on my team!
8 year old #2: Not until you pay me my money, bitch.

Elliot Park Basketball court
Overheard by Future businessmen.

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6th July 2008

There’s Nothing Science Can’t Do

Woman: So, now they’re testing for incest.

Baseball Field in Chanhassen

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24th June 2008

Alcoholics Have Their Benefits, Too

Loud Woman at Saints Game, to stranger next to her: So, where did your husband go? To get booze?
40ish woman next to her: No, he has diabetes. He doesn’t drink.
Loud Woman: OH! That’s great! That’s the good thing about diabetes.
40ish woman: Yeah… my last husband was an alcoholic.
(silence)

Saints Game
Overheard by THAT’S the good thing…

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23rd June 2008

We’re Forming A Club

Drunk northeast Iowan fan: Deuces wild! Deuces WILD!
Embarrassed friend: I hate it when you say that.

Elko Express baseball field
Overheard by So do I.

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23rd June 2008

That’s Not What You’re Supposed To Do With #2

Coach (yelling at player on field): You’re not doing anything standing by #2!

Coon Rapids Soccer Tournament
Overheard by The Elderly Multigravida.

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23rd June 2008

Not Appropriate, Coach

Coach (yelling at player on field): Hey, Gabriel, get it up!

Coon Rapids Soccer Tournament
Overheard by The Elderly Multigravida.

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8th April 2008

It Should Work That Way

Little boy to his mother: Oh yes, he broke his bat!  Now the other team doesn’t have as many bats as the Twins!

Section 127, Row 119, Metrodome
Overheard by Happy that the innocence isn’t lost.

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27th March 2008

Ice Is Weird

Hockey Mom #1:  I don’t know why they have to have it so cold in here.
Hockey Mom#2:  Seriously, it’s absolutely freezing in here.

Northern suburb ice arena
Overheard by 2 ingredients of ice, water and COLD.

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12th February 2008

Back When I Was Just A Kid

Tiny 8-year-old swimmer to an experienced older swimmer: Are you doing butterfly in the relay?
Experienced swimmer: Yes.
8-year-old: Are you good at it?
Experienced swimmer, pausing: No, not really.
8-year-old: Oh. That’s ok, I started out like that too.

St. Michael swim meet
Overheard by older swimmer’s friend.

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11th February 2008

Filed Under: Speak First, Think Much, Much Later

Minnesota fan: Goldy must be a woman today, he’s very slender. Goldy’s a lesbian today!

Minnesota/Iowa basketball game
Overheard by Proud that I am an Iowa fan.

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31st January 2008

And Replaced It With Alcohol

Early 20s “Dude” in line for beer with his buddies: I USED to smoke and chew… but then I quit one.

Wild Game
Overheard by now you will live half as long!

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25th January 2008

To Mask The People Smell?

Pretty blonde making a disgusted face: I hate people smell.
Suburban mom with family: I knew I should’ve brought my trail mix

In the crowded skyway after the Timberwolves Game on Jan. 23.
Overheard by Don’t they serve food at the game?

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27th November 2007

It’ll Be Our Little Secret

Girl holding up Gophers t-shirt which reads “Z is for ZAMBONI”: Z isn’t for xylophone anymore! (pause) Wait…
Boyfriend: Let’s keep that between us.

Gopher Game
Overheard by Good lord.

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9th November 2007

Does It Matter Anymore?

High School Girl who obviously knows nothing about football: Whoo-hoo!!! Oooohhh… boooooo. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing right now guys!

Vikings/Chargers game
Overheard by can’t believe that girl owns an official jersey.

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23rd August 2007

Santa, The Easter Bunny And The Tooth Fairy Aren’t Good Enough Anymore.

Liberal preschool-aged baseball fan: GO SAINTS! You can do this!!!
Conservative preschool-aged baseball fan: GO USA! You can win the war in Iraq!!!
Liberal preschool-aged baseball fan: What is WRONG with you?!?!

Saints game at Midway Stadium

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7th August 2007

Later, The Least Coherent.

Guy returning from the concession stand with three enormous beers: These [nods to indicate beers] were enough to make me the most important person on the walkway.

Midway Stadium during Saints game
Overheard by unimportant guy with one regular sized beer.

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20th July 2007

Well, You Gave It Your All.

Young African American girl playing tennis: I’m gonna be like Serena Williams! (commence playing for 1 minute) I’m so done with this.

NE Tennis Court
Overheard by Serena Probably Wouldn’t Have Gotten that Far with That Attitude.

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