Posts Tagged ‘sports’
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My Wife Picked This Out For Me
Man in camo overalls to his friends: I am a decent human being, I have a moral compass, but I have absolutely no sense of fashion.
Minneapolis, TCF Bank Stadium, Vikings Game
Overheard by frozen toes. -
Maybe You Should Wait In The Car
Middle-aged woman #1: Do they still have that one coach, you know the kind of Jethro-looking one?
Middle-aged woman #2: Who??? I don’t know. (as she leans forward and scans the field)
Middle-aged woman #1: You know, the stockier guy. He kind of looks like Mike Tice.
Middle-aged woman #2: Oh, so he’s black???St. Paul, CDH Homecoming football game @ University of St. Thomas
Overheard by Knows which Mike Tice she was referring to. -
It’s A Flash Mob
Woman on jam-packed LRT train, surrounded by people in Twins jerseys and hats: Was there a game today?
Minneapolis, LRT
Overheard by DB. -
Can’t Take It With You
Old drunken male Twins fan to drunk young female Twins fan dancing against a pole: Look, I don’t have much life left in me, sweetie, so how about I give you $20 and you can come over here and do that to me. (ten minutes later) I’ll make it $40.
Minneapolis, Lightrail
Overheard by Best. Grandpa. Ever. -
She Has A Bright Future As A Lawyer
Five-year-old girl sitting directly behind her mom: Mommy. Mommy! Mommy!!!
Mom: Honey, I can’t turn my head 180 degrees. I’m not an owl.
Five-year-old girl: Mommy, knock knock.
Mom: Who’s there?
Five-year-old girl: Who.
Mom: Who who?
Five-year-old girl: I thought you said you weren’t an owl?Mound, Hockey Arena
Overheard by You kiss your mother with that mouth? -
You Might Offend The Other Sticks
Cute little boy: NICE STICK!!!!!!
His mom: Shhhh, you can’t say that!St. Paul, Swarm game at Xcel
Overheard by get your mind out of the gutter. -
Every Time
Teenage girl to friend: I wasn’t so into the idea at first. But now that I think about it, I agree with him; it WOULD be better with two goats instead of just one!
Burnsville, North River Hills soccer fields
Overheard by wait. say that again? -
Works Every Time
Woman in stall: Well, I know how to make him; get drunk and have sex with a homeless man.
Saint Paul, Ladies Room at the Xcel Energy Center – Wild Game
Overheard by Ladies nearest the Stall. -
He’s Nationally Certified
Loud annoying girl talking to friends: Where is Alex? He’s a good sniffer.
Anoka High School Basket Ball Game in the Pep Band Area
Overheard by I’m always in need of one of those. -
Or Don’t Want To Stand Next To You
Man screaming in the hallway: There’s no line for the troughs! The line is for the people with small penises that won’t pee in the trough!
Wolves vs Lakers – Target Center
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Or At Least Keep The Paper Robe
Middle-aged women on cell phone: So, you know that rash I have? Well, I went to the Doctor and he was like, ‘Good luck!’ (Laughs) I know, I told him I wanted my co-pay back!
Saint Paul Saint’s Game
Overheard by Shouldn’t you be more worried about the rash?! -
I’d Hold Out For Three
Lonely 20-something guy: I just want a girlfriend. I don’t care if she’s super fat or has, like, two noses.
Chaska basketball court
Overheard by three nostrils. -
Being A Kid Isn’t Like It Used To Be
8 year old #1: Hey, come play on my team!
8 year old #2: Not until you pay me my money, bitch.Elliot Park Basketball court
Overheard by Future businessmen. -
There’s Nothing Science Can’t Do
Woman: So, now they’re testing for incest.
Baseball Field in Chanhassen
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Alcoholics Have Their Benefits, Too
Loud Woman at Saints Game, to stranger next to her: So, where did your husband go? To get booze?
40ish woman next to her: No, he has diabetes. He doesn’t drink.
Loud Woman: OH! That’s great! That’s the good thing about diabetes.
40ish woman: Yeah… my last husband was an alcoholic.
(silence)Saints Game
Overheard by THAT’S the good thing… -
We’re Forming A Club
Drunk northeast Iowan fan: Deuces wild! Deuces WILD!
Embarrassed friend: I hate it when you say that.Elko Express baseball field
Overheard by So do I. -
That’s Not What You’re Supposed To Do With #2
Coach (yelling at player on field): You’re not doing anything standing by #2!
Coon Rapids Soccer Tournament
Overheard by The Elderly Multigravida. -
Not Appropriate, Coach
Coach (yelling at player on field): Hey, Gabriel, get it up!
Coon Rapids Soccer Tournament
Overheard by The Elderly Multigravida. -
Makin’ Good Decisions
Stoner to his friend: Dude! Have you hot boxed your UPS truck?
Acorn Park disc golf course
Overheard by Rolling my eyes. -
A Result Of Substandard Clown Breeding
RG Fan #1: You want a balloon animal?
RG Fan #2: I don’t like balloon people. They are half clown.Roller GIrls Championships 1/2 Time
Overheard by What’s the other half?
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