College guy: You can’t keep it in your pants, so why keep it in the species?

St. Cloud, Wendy’s
Overheard by a.lil.

Wife, walking over to where husband is sitting: It really smells farty over here.
Husband: Really? I wish I didn’t have this cold so I could smell and taste better.

Coffee shop in St. Cloud
Overheard by No you don’t.

Overly excited man regarding Smuckers Uncrustable sandwiches: They just have the perfect amount of peanut butter and jelly in them! They’re like… mouth heaven!

Wedding in St. Cloud
Overheard by Wish I got that excited about sandwiches.