Bro next door: Samantha*, exciting news! My towel no longer smells like moldy dog s***.

Northfield, An upperclassmen dorm at a pious college on a hill
Overheard by the neighbor who was wondering what that smell was.

Typical St. Olaf-looking Girl: Sometimes I’m a ho and sometimes I’m a whore.

Northfield, Contented College on a Hill
Overheard by plaid shirt, no cowboy hat.

Gradmother (who has been sitting through over 100 names being called at graduation) after a name is called of someone she doesn’t know: YAYYY!
Girl: What are you doing?  Do you know them?
Grandmother: I have an idea!  Lets use a different animal noise after every name that is called!
Girl: Umm…
Dean: Sarah Smith*.
Grandmother: WOOF!

St. Olaf graduation
Overheard by Well, it’s better than clapping.

Scruffy ‘Bro’: My recital was a week ago. And you know what I’ve done all week? Drink and not shave!

Christiansen Reception Room @ St. Olaf
Overheard by JAG.

Girl: I just feel like I’m sort of anorexic these days.

a pious college on a hill in Northfield
Overheard by only sort of, though, so don’t worry.

Dude #1 (eating one slice of jelly toast and one slice peanut butter toast): I’m double fisting!
Dude #2: You could put them together and make a sandwich.
Dude #1: Yeah, but it’s toast.
Dude#2: Oh, you’re right. There should be a law against mixing toasts.

A pious college on a hill in Northfield
Overheard by there should be a law against mixing stupid people.