Girl in her early 20s, to boyfriend: Um, it says I’m psychic for the next three weeks.

Saint Paul, Costellos
Overheard by Hmmm.

8-year-old-ish child during a screening of Percy Jackson: They get to go to Vegas?! I want to go to Vegas! They have all the good stores. In Hannah Montana they had the best shoes!

St. Paul, Highland Park Mann theater
Overheard by Chalalalalala.

Girl to Bro: So I told her, “Excuse me?! I’ve been a lifeguard! I’ve had to go from ‘Chugga-chugga-choo-choo,’ to ‘Chugga-chugga-boom-boom!’”

Saint Paul, Brady Hall
Overheard by What does that even mean?!

Senior citizen explaining newly learned technology to friends: Texting is like sending a telegraph over your phone.

St. Paul, Casa Vieja
Overheard by Weierd.

Kid looking at ice sculptures of dinosaurs, angrily: DINOSAURS ARE EXTINCT!!!!!!!

St. Paul, Rice Park, Winter Carnival
Overheard by amused.

Old man: Like Prince say, “When dogs cry…”
Young man: That ain’t right.
Old man: That’s what I’m sayin! When a dog cry, somethin ain’t right!
Young man: No. The Prince song. It’s “When Doves Cry.”
Old man: Hell, man, that was a long time ago. I don’t ‘member ‘xactly. Still, when a dog cry, you know somethin’ wrong. When a dog cry, you know somethin’ ain’t right.

St. Paul, Bus Route 21, Easbound on Marshall
Overheard by me.

Diner in next booth: It isn’t always the big fights on stage that hurts performers; there was one case where a woman got slapped every night for one run and she went deaf in her ear on that side. People don’t realize how important fight coordinators are for safety.

Saint Paul, Chatterbox in Highland
Overheard by Cat.

Employee: Nice guys never finish last, but they ARE never in the top 3 either!

St. Paul, Axman Surplus
Overheard by OhTheresAClause.

Beefy clubber: Yo dude, that’s my girl you’re dancing with!
Beefy clubber’s girlfriend: FUCK YOU!
Guy dancing with clubber’s girlfriend: BOOYAH!

St. Paul, Valentinos 16+ Stoplight Party
Overheard by dancing bystander.

Bundled up apparently non-frat boy to friend: I’ve never been to a frat party, but the story is it’s total bros and total hoes.

St. Paul, Hamline Target
Overheard by What else would you expect?

30-something guy on cell: I would rather just sit around than cut off flesh from carcasses.

St. Paul, Blockbuster

20-something girl walking out the door to her friend: When someone first told me they took a spinning class I thought they meant spinning in circles.

St. Paul, YMCA
Overheard by Its the only logical thought…

Loud guy, to girl in lobby: Hey, you’re sort of a little hottie! Too bad we’re related.

Saint Paul, Cafe Latte
Overheard by QuoteRadar.

U of M employee during white elephant gift exchange: OH MY GOD! Peggy* got a Snuggie!!

St. Paul, U of M administrative holiday party
Overheard by guest.

Office worker: Well, maybe your dad’s going into the bathroom and your mom thinks that he’s peeing but he’s really just reading the newspaper.

Saint Paul, office
Overheard by I just process the numbers.

Man walking by classroom on phone: I’ve done it all over, even out of state.

St. Paul, Concordia St. Paul Classroom
Overheard by I’m intriguied by your experience.

College girl on phone: Well, did you make him pay you? (pause) Then you’re not a hooker, you’re just a slut.

St. Paul, University of Minnesota Campus
Overheard by Neither One.

Girlfriend: These look really good. They have ricotta cheese in them!
Boyfriend: Ick, the cheese will make me sick.
Girlfriend: Your lactose intolerance is really getting on my nerves.

St. Paul, Midway Target
Overheard by Deli Man.

40 year old woman, to her family (including kids) as she enters: The only thing he’s good at is impregnating women.

St. Paul, a hole in the wall Italian restaurant
Overheard by More vino please.

Disgruntled dad, to kid running around: Get over here, stay with the rest of the group! You’ll be kidnapped! Hopefully.

Saint Paul, Rice Park
Overheard by Burrhead.