Coworker, in response to another coworker wondering how Michael Jackson’s family is going to straighten out the debt: Well, you know Tito was really good with math so I could see him managing the estate. They’ll probably open Neverland Ranch to tourists. They can charge more money because there are rides and stuff.

St Paul, the cubicle next door
Overheard by The Wallbanger.

Guy: If you’re into action, into night life, go to Minneapolis. But it’s a bit rougher of a crowd.

St Paul, Great Waters
Overheard by Ed.

Third grader #1 (pointing at a Jamba Juice stand): Hey, there’s a guy in a strawberry costume!
Third grader #2: Awesome! What a dream job.

St Paul, Harriet Island, Children’s Cancer Walk

Bleach blond poser dude: I want to be Oprah’s son. I should write a letter to her show so she will adopt me.

St. Paul, Jamba Juice on Grand
Overheard by: Sounds like a plan.

Tween girl speaking to another tween girl: My mom told me I can’t date him because he’s Turkish.

St. Paul, Science Museum
Overheard by It’s not mothers day.

8-yr-old son: Mom! I need to find somebody to break my leg!
Mom: Why would you want to do that?
8-yr-old son: I just really do.

St Paul, Ft Snelling State Park
Overheard by le intern.

Gaunt dude in Abercrombie gear: This is the gayest I’ve ever looked!

St. Paul, Midway Cub
Overheard by Two fly chicks.

Skinny 20’s something guy: I wish I had cleavage.

Saint Paul, Grand Old Day
Overheard by I don’t think I want to know…

Lesbian, to friend: Hey Jane! Did you hear New Hampshire legalized gay marriage? That makes it the 6th state to legalize it. Only 42 more to go!

St. Paul, route 50 city bus
Overheard by gay marriage is just for the lower 48.

Middle aged woman, on the phone: I’m, like, half infected. (pause) No, I don’t think I have H1N1, but I WAS exposed and I’m half infected.

St Paul, Sitting on a chair in the Target entrance
Overheard by Gavin.

Teenage girl #1: Guurrrl! You’re further along than I am!
Teenage girl #2: I’m six months.
Teenage girl #1: Tee Tee, she six months. She look ready to pop! You got stretch marks?
Teenage girl #2: Guuurrrl! I got TWO!

St. Paul, Graduation Ceremony @ Roy Wilkins
Overheard by OMG.

Little boy in the sale aisle holding a black shirt: What about this?
His sister: I don’t like black.
Little boy: You don’t like black?!?!  You’re un-American!!!!

St. Paul, Snelling Target in Rosedale
Overheard by Tink.

Cute gay guy #1 (talking about donating sperm): Do you think they’d ask if we were gay?
Cute gay guy #2: No, but they have a test for it.  There’s two stacks of porn.

Saint Paul, after the Saints game
Overheard by Giggling Saints fan!

Young woman: This is my new favorite place.

Saint Paul, Grand Avenue CVS
Overheard by Cheapo is my new favorite place.

Mom to small child: No. We are not buying them a camel. Think inexpensive.

Saint Paul, Target on University
Overheard by if they didn’t spit that’d be a cool gift!

Female co-worker talking on cellphone outside of my office door: How in the hell do you aid and abet someone possessing drugs?  Did she, like, sew a secret pocket in his shorts to hide his crack?

St. Paul, Bremer Tower
Overheard by That’s a pretty sweet pocket you have there.

SA Cashier: I get more ass than a toilet seat.

St. Paul, Snelling Ave. Super America
Overheard by KC.

Hip Christian girl: …except for the Jews. What they believe is crap.

Saint Paul, The Tea Garden – Macalaster
Overheard by aeh.

Student #1: Dude, is that you that smells like cinnamon rolls?
Student #2: (laughs) I wish, bro; do you have any idea how many girls I could get if I went around smelling like cinnamon rolls all the time?!

St. Paul, University of St. Thomas; Brady Hall
Overheard by The New Axe Fragrance.

Girlfriend to boyfriend:  It’s free because it’s small, stupid.

St Paul, Como Zoo
Overheard by jamiebn.