Man #1: Did you get the grill?
Man #2:  What?
Man #1:  (pause)
Man #2:  Are you talking to me?
Man #1:  Is it in your trunk?
Man #3:  I think he’s bluetoothing.
Man #2:  Worst invention ever.  All it does it make people look like they’re crazy, talking to themselves.

St. Paul office
Overheard by LB.

Farmer’s market attendee, inspecting tomatoes: What varieties do you have?
Vendor: DELICIOUS!

St. Paul Farmer’s Market
Overheard by I’ll have what she’s having.

One business-suited woman to another: So… how do we do things that make it look like we’re doing things?

Carriage Hill Plaza, downtown St. Paul
Overheard by Corporate America, we have a problem.

Girl, to neighbor regarding one their dogs wearing a shock collar: Lady, is your dog on house arrest?

West Side in St. Paul
Overheard by Buttercup.

A woman buying junk food and eyelashes (angrily): Well, you know what, Shannon, I’m getting your eyelashes.

CVS on Grand
Overheard by a fellow customer.

Somewhat Self-Important Woman: I didn’t grow up with your values, you know, be Minnesota nice, get a job and be productive. No, my values where I grew up were that you had to be really smart, you had to do a lot of drugs, and you had to have orgasms. But if you don’t know what they are, don’t worry, honey.

Gingko Cafe, St. Paul
Overheard by i hope it was a first date.

Woman using ATM (to nobody in particular): Syphilis! Syphilis! Syphilis! Syphilis!

Taste of MN

Father: Wow, those clouds look neat.
Daughter: Yeah, they do! Like mushroom clouds after a bomb goes off.
Father: Uhh, sure.
Daughter: It’s a terrible thing what happened during WWII, but mushroom clouds are so beautiful. Sometimes beauty comes from catastrophes.

Taste of Minnesota
Overheard by uhhh…

Extremely intoxicated old man wearing a Vietnam vet hat: The truth always prevails, even when you lie about it.
Young creeped out girl sitting next to him: Dude, get away from me!

Joe and Stans bar Saint Paul
Overheard by Bar Patron.

Old Guy #1: Dude, wanna smoke some killer pot?
Old Guy #2: Fuck yeah, you got any?

At a BBQ attended by mostly twenty somethings at noon in Saint Paul
Overheard by atendee of BBQ.

Young yuppie kid at urinal: Dude, I wish there was a privacy wall between these urinals?
Middle aged Biker at next urinal: Why, you got a small dick?

A hole in the wall Bar in Saint Paul
Overheard by Guy in the stall.

Priest (upon seeing the long line in front of Grand Ole Creamery): Holy Christ!

Grand Ole Creamery
Overheard by a recovering Catholic.

Manager (to employee following behind him): This is not a dainty world.

D’Amico & Sons, Saint Paul

Lewd middle-aged man: So the other day my friend asked me to borrow some porn tapes. He said he needed to teach his son about the birds and the bees.

Neighborhood Café, Saint Paul
Overheard by TheWhirled.

Businesswoman: I know you don’t know anything about downtown Minneapolis.
St. Paul police officer: True.

downtown St. Paul
Overheard by protect and serve.

Woman #1:  So, I heard you are going to be a grandma.
Woman #2:  Yep, in September and November.
Woman #1:  I didn’t know you had more than one kid.
Woman #2:  I don’t.
Woman #1:  Errrrr…

Skyway Downtown St. Paul
Overheard by Awkward!!!

Wife to husband, in a mean tone: I am talking louder! Wait until I am done, or until you can talk as loud as I can!

Science Museum, Star Wars exhibit
Overheard by Yeah, I guess you better shape up or ship out.

Business man #1 describing a projector: It’s got a lens about this big. (motions with hands)
Business man #2: It’s not the size of the lens that counts!

downtown St. Paul
Overheard by LB.

Little boy looking at the gorillas: You can tell that one’s the dad, because he looks angry.

Como Zoo
Overheard by RSP.

Octogenarian sitting behind me: Well, she had a shitty attitude, and I thought the Germans were bad!

Padelford Riverboat Tour in St. Paul.
Overheard by Old people are hilarious.