College girl #1: I can’t say ‘Helen Keller’ very well.
College girl #2: Neither could she.

St. Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil.

Barista at a coffee shop: Can I help you, sir?
Man in his mid to late fifties: Ahh, yes. Do you have, ahh, something like coffee?

St. Paul,  White Rock coffee shop
Overheard by the man with the mohawk.

Girl leaving Target: Hurry up, I just stole the Diet Coke.
Friend: What?! Why?
Girl: I’m a college kid. I’m supposed to steal things.

St. Paul, Target
Overheard by I guess I’m not a typical college kid.

20-something stoned guy: I wasn’t kidding earlier, I’m blazed.
Other guy: Really? Where’d you get blazed?
20-something stoned guy: At work.
Other guy: Oh, was that after you got fired?
20-something stoned guy: Uh… I really want some pizza.

St. Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil.

Pouting newlywed wife: I feel like we don’t spend enough time together.
Seething newlywed husband: (grinds teeth)
Pouting newlywed wife: Enough quality time.
Seething newlywed husband: (remains silent)
Pouting newlywed wife: Would you like me to tell you what quality time is?
Seething newlywed husband: (about to speak, thinks better of it)
Pouting newlywed wife: 23 hours a day.

St. Paul, The Happy Gnome
Overheard by Good, that leaves one hour for him to think of a response.

Teenage guy to two guy friends: Dude, we should see who can get their girlfriend to go the longest without shaving her legs!

St. Paul, Como Park Zoo
Overheard by Old Guy Who’s Keeping His Girlfriend As-is.

Mid-20’s guy: They have whiskey AND hooches!  What could be better?!

St. Paul, Moose Country
Overheard by a.lil.

Female: Are you going to invite me into your den of seduction?

Saint Paul, Concordia

Young man checking out woman at other table: She’s a nice shade of…
Young man not humoring him: Orange?

St Paul, Concordia University

Confused girl: I feel like it just happened two days ago.
Concerned girl: Maybe you’re dyslexic.

St Paul, Concordia University

20-something girl: Just stay between my legs and you’ll keep warm.

St Paul, Midway Target while waiting to get a Cities97 Sampler

Target Employee: When we open the doors, please do not run, shove, hit, punch, scratch, bite or cause disorder.
20-something girl: But we can swim, right!?

St Paul, Midway Target while waiting to get a Cities 97 Sampler
Overheard by Michael Phelps.

Woman #1: So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Woman #2: I’m invited to my brother’s house and I’m invited to my sister’s house.
(pause)
Woman #1: So, what are you going to do?
Woman #2: Stay home.

Saint Paul, an office

Girl #1 walking through underground tunnel: I wonder if they have a microphone in here.
Girl #2: Where would they put it, under all the mold?

St Paul, Concordia University
Overheard by mold.

Kitchen staff on smoke break out back: I gotta let my toe heal so they can amputate it.

St Paul, Bulldog Lowertown
Overheard by it needs to heal before you cut it off?

Half drunk man at the bar: Why are you wearing a teardrop on a necklace?  Did you kill someone?
Young woman waiting for a drink: It’s from Tiffany’s.

St. Paul, Plum’s Bar
Overheard by But did you kill someone to get it?

Young woman playing video games: Did I tell you I found my chex mix?

St Paul, Concordia University Call Center

Girl #1: You would probably have to be outside for a really long time for your eyeballs to freeze.
Girl #2:  Okay, bye!

St.Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by she’s reassured now.

Man Stumbling Into Apartment Elevator: Whaaa floor?
Twenty-something woman: Uh, two.
Man Stumbling Into Elevator: Man, that floor sucks.

Saint Paul, Just Another Downtown Apartment Building
Overheard by So why’d he get off on the same floor?

Nerdy guy, to friend: We could randomly break out into riverdance in the middle of travel.  (awkward silence) You know you want to.
Friend: No. Just, no.
Nerdy guy: Fine, then we can jazzercise!

St. Paul, Bethel University
Overheard by a.lil.