6th September 2008

Does Grandma Have To Poop?

Grandma to grandson: Okay, lets take out your penis. There you go.
Grandson (screeches): I DONT HAVE TO POOP!
Grandma: It’s okay.
Grandson (still screeching): I DONT HAVE TO POOP
Grandma: You don’t have to.
Grandson: I DONT HAVE TO POOP!
Grandma: Okay, well wait here while Grandma goes to the bathroom.

MN State Fair bathroom
Overheard by i would like to poop in peace…

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5th September 2008

You’re The One Who Will Have To Listen To Him Scream

Teen mom to 3-year old boy dragging his feet from the wagon: Fine, but when you break your leg, I’m not taking you to the emergency room until tomorrow!

MN State Fair
Overheard by Rather concerned mom

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3rd September 2008

We’ll Give You Another Chance

Teenage girl looking at a barn sign: Poultry…
Teenage boyfriend: That’s, like, horses, right?

MN State Fair, near the poultry barns
Overheard by weren’t you just in the horse store?

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3rd September 2008

You Could Always Leave Them There

Little boy to redneck dad: Thanks for taking us to the fair even though you’re broke.
Little girl to redneck dad: Flllaaatttt broke!
Redneck dad, embarrassingly: Yeah, yeah…

MN State Fair, Waiting to get on the 960 bus.
Overheard by That makes two of us…

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3rd September 2008

We’re Not Here For Fun, Kid!

Small Child: That ride looks fun, Daddy!
Dad: So what?

MN  State Fair
Overheard by I Hate kids too.

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2nd September 2008

Until Next Year…

Serious 3-year old girl: Daddy, try not to step in the poop.
Mockingly serious dad: Yes, try not to step in the poop.

MN State Fair Animal Barn
Overheard by smiled anyway when I heard her, too.

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31st August 2008

That Can Be Pretty Satisfying

Depressed man, to friends, while eating corn-on-the-cob: You know, this is just upsetting. I spent $180 today, and all I’ll have to show for it is a really large shit.

MN State Fair
Overheard by suddenly a little less hungry.

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31st August 2008

This Is Just Lazy

Obnoxious woman in crowd: I am so hungry, WHERE IS ALL THE FOOD?

MN State Fair
Overheard by where is there *not* food at the fair?

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31st August 2008

We’re So Excited For You

Guy, watching piglets work over Piggy Mama: I’m doing that tonight.

MN State Fair, Birth Center
Overheard by girl in scrubs.

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31st August 2008

Wouldn’t That Be Cool If He Was Here?

Fair-going Dude-bro, passing by the Al Franken booth: Man, that guy sounds like Al Franken.

Minnesota State Fair
Overheard by Genuine Irony.

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31st August 2008

How You Know You’ve Had Too Much To Eat

Boy (after bucket of Sweet Martha’s Cookies is opened): Please shut that. The smell is making my bowels move.

On bus coming from MN State Fair

Overheard by Did it really?

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31st August 2008

I’m Just Going To Complain Instead Of Buying New Ones

Slightly unfortunate looking boy: Lately my boxers have been riding really high.

MN State Fair grounds by the Education Building
Overheard by I wish I were your boxers…

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31st August 2008

Where’s The Understanding?

20-something man in motorized wheelchair, to female companion also in motorized wheelchair, as they were about to collide: Stop being such a retard!

MN State Fair
Overheard by Really?

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31st August 2008

Must Be Laundry Day

20-something girl: Can we just stop? We’re not in any hurry to get home.
Mother: I am, my underwear’s tight.
20-something girl: Um, what does that mean?
Mother: It’s tight and itchy and it hurts.

MN State Fair

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31st August 2008

What’s Wrong With It?

Woman: And she wanted me to eat the mac and cheese on a stick, but I was like “Honey, I don’t eat mac ‘n cheese from the bowl!”

Bus to the State Fair

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29th August 2008

Whole Or Half?

Exhausted looking woman: How much is that ostrich on a stick?

MN State Fair
Overheard by nugget.

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29th August 2008

You Get Points For Trying

Enthusiastic Child (walking out of state fair bazaar): Who am I kidding?? I don’t even know what a bazaar is!

MN State Fair, International Bazaar
Overheard by boyfriend and me.

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29th August 2008

That Never Works For Me

Younger Man to Senior Man:  Hey, do you want some ice cream?
Senior Man: No, thanks, I’m too full.  I just want to look at it.

Minnesota State Fair
Overheard by I would still gain a pound or two.

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29th August 2008

Now That’s Just Mean

Middle-aged woman, to companion: Hey, let’s get some hot dogs and go to the pig barn!

Minnesota State Fair
Overheard by PETA does not approve.

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29th August 2008

Define ‘Egg’

Young boy in the birthing center looking at the cows: OK, but where do the eggs come out!?

MN State Fair
Overheard by I grew up in the city too, but come on!

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