Intoxicated guitarist: Now that I’ve got a cell phone that bubbles, I can poop!

St. Paul, Station 4
Overheard by An Invisible Fiend.

Woman teammate trying to figure out other teammate’s sexual orientation: So, I saw you drive up with a guy and some kids.
Other teammate: That was my girlfriend.

In the bathroom at Station 4
Overheard by At least now you know she’s a lesbian.

Drunk guy in bar: SO I’M A RAPIST!

Station 4
Overheard by Not walking to my car by myself tonight.