Pious friend: Do you think God is happy with you?
Concerned girl: I don’t know.
Pious friend: Well do you at least fast for [religious observance]?
Concerned girl: [Indiscernible]
Pious friend: You’re a terrible person. I love you, but you’re a terrible person.

Downtown Target dressing room
Overheard by I thought this was a fitting room, not a confessional.

Daughter: Let’s buy water!
Mom: Who needs water when you have Crystal Light!

Target, Ridgedale
Overheard by wow.

Drunk man: Holy Jesus on methamphetamine!  My secret is… hmm… I wet myself.  (Giggles)  All over; very messy.  No survivors.

Target
Overheard by Momo.

Girl in personal products aisle (to no one in particular): I’m so glad I don’t have a penis.

Ridgedale Target
Overheard by well i think they’re great!

Target meat guy knowingly to another Target guy: I wanna… MASH your potatoes.

Plymouth Target
Overheard by If that’s not an euphemism, I don’t know what is.

Middle aged black woman with her grandchildren at 11:30am on a Sunday: I just took the kids out to breakfast and now I need to go home and have me a Jack Daniels.

Southtown Target

Mother to pre-teen girl carrying her little sister on her back: I hope she doesn’t pee on your back

Target-Midway
Overheard by I hope so too.

20 yr old in bathroom stall: Hey! There’s a rainbow in the toilet!

Ridgedale Target Bathroom
Overheard by Was there a pot of gold too?

Melodramatic Teenage Girl (to Mom): FINE! Is THAT what you want!? I’ll just go to my room and CUT myself.
7yr Old Little Brother: Use extra soap so you don’t get a infection.

Target, Shampoo Aisle
Overheard by That’s The Spirit!

Man to Target electronics employee: So, are these things the converter boxes for the TV’s? (holds up a big DVD player that says “DVD” on it)
Target Employee (curiously): Did you find that below the TV’s?
Man: No, in the middle of the DVD player section.
Target Employee (wearily): So, you found it in the middle of the DVD player section and are wondering if it’s a TV converter, correct?
Man: Yeah, is it?
Target Employee: No.

Electronics: Target Lake Street
Overheard by Lady who wishes she had that guy’s hair.

6 year old genius boy: Mom, you should get this one because it has no trans fat.
Mom: Mmm hmmm…
6 year old genius boy: The single one is two dollars, so if you just buy the single it’s actually more cheaper than each one in the value pack.
Mom: It’s “cheaper” not “more cheaper”.

Woodbury Target
Overheard by yeah, dummy!  (p.s. can I take you home with me?!)

Small Child (in shopping cart, pointing at shelf): Oh look, Mommy, yummy marshmallows!
Mom: No, Henry, those are dishwasher tablets.

Blaine Super Target
Overheard by The Elderly Multigravida.

Target Optical Employee: I heard some people think the government is creating all these storms to try and get rid of specific people.
Customer: Haha, yeah, I want some of that cereal!

Target
Overheard by that’s kind of interesting…

Young girl leaving Target with mom and brother: Oh yeah, I once got hit in the FACE with a baseball.  Dad threw it.

Target, Duluth

Mother of 3, scrambling through the toy isle trying to calm down 2 of them: Yes, he’s 6 and you’re 3. He’s older than you, so put your clothes back on.

Toy isle of Target in St Paul
Overheard by Totovader.

Little guy in shopping cart: Mom, what are fish sticks made of?
Tired Momma: Fish. You know, the inside part.
Little Guy: Is the insides meat?
Tired Momma: Huh-uh.
(15 seconds elapse)
Little Guy: (GASP!) Are the insides of people meat?
Tired Mom: I guess so.
Little Guy: Okay, just don’t buy people sticks, mom. I won’t eat ‘em.

Super Target in Roseville
Overheard by Another Tired Momma.

Kid with mom in dressing room: Mommy, I see your boobs!

Target, Coon Rapids
Overheard by Another shopper.

Wannabe Cool Guy on cell phone: Yeah, I’m going to by a cheap-ass skateboard so I can get around.  <pause>  Yeah, instead of paying for bus passes, I just buy cheap skateboards.  It’s just easier.

Edina Target
Overheard by Pheebs.

Middle Aged woman to friends: When I was younger I used to be embarrassed when I pooped my pants.  Now that I’m middle aged I don’t care anymore.

Blaine Target
Overheard by Because it’s socially acceptable when you’re middle aged?

Loud teen girl on cellphone: Jaime, I’ve been CALLing you! Didn’t you feel it in your pants?

accessories section at Edina Target
Overheard by yikes.