Posts Tagged ‘target’
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It’ll Be Her First Car Someday
Little girl: I want a candy bar.
Her mom: No.
Little girl: Fine, if I don’t get one I’ll shit in your car!Apple Valley, Target
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What If You Wear Both?
Girl: Dude, Argyll is punk. You see those socks I was wearing today?
Young Punk in training: Yeah, socks, not shirt!Minneapolis, Downtown Target
Overheard by My junior high math teacher must have been punk, too. -
Do You Smoke?
Man to two preteens: I’ve been locked up the past 8 years. How am I supposed to know what to get you for Christmas?!
Richfield Super Target
Overheard by did you look in aisle 5? -
There Is Still Time To Take Her Gifts Back
Wife interrupting her husband while he was suggesting a gift idea: NO, NO, you’re being stupid!
Apple Valley, Target
Overheard by TheirTwoChildren. -
And Is There Any Way You Can Be Taller?
Girlfriend: These look really good. They have ricotta cheese in them!
Boyfriend: Ick, the cheese will make me sick.
Girlfriend: Your lactose intolerance is really getting on my nerves.St. Paul, Midway Target
Overheard by Deli Man. -
Christmas Came Early!
Classy woman wearing too much blush, on her cellphone: You got your court date, too?
Minneapolis, Downtown Target
Overheard by Lindsay, Tess and Kevin. -
Because You Took Him To Target On Black Friday
Teenage girl to friends: Why does he want to kill himself SO BAD?
Minneapolis, Hi-Lake Target, Black Friday
Overheard by trying to live up to his father’s legacy. -
Only If You Want Gym Socks Next Year
Lady at Target: Oooo! Dollar movies! That’s what you get for your mother-in-law!
Vadnais Heights, Target, Dollar Spot
Overheard by The Girl Buying Her Niece’s Christmas Gifts at the Dollar Spot. -
That Is Strictly For Beer Or Weed
College guy #1: Dude, should we buy some soap soon?
College guy #2: Nah, I don’t want to waste my plasma money.Minneapolis, The Quarry, Target
Overheard by Burrhead. -
I Do Not Remember That From Sunday School
Religious Woman #1: When you feel the spirits coming on, when you feel those bad demons, you have got to expell them as fast as possible!
Religious Woman #2: Mmm hmm, honey.
Religious Woman #1: You have got to get some blood and put it on your forehead and speak the good Lord’s name!
Religious Woman #2: Mmm hmm!Minneapolis, Nicollet Mall Target Store
Overheard by Not my blood please….. -
Can’t The Spaces Just Work It Out?
Target employee over walkie talkie: Do we have any space dividers for… dividing spaces?
St. Paul, Target store on Snelling Ave.
Overheard by Captain Obvious. -
His First Session Will Be So Confusing
10-year-old boy #1: What is a social worker anyway?
10-year-old boy #2: It’s a gay person! Duh!Edina, Super Target
Overheard by lol. -
And A New Roommate
Buff College Guy #1: Dude, I need new blades for my razor. AGAIN. This shit is expensive.
Buff College Guy #2: The razor you keep in the shower? The one that I have been using to shave my balls?
Buff College Guy #1: Alright, so I need new blades for my razor, and new skin for my face.Richfield, Target – Razor Aisle
Overheard by New Meaning to Dick-Head? -
Why Settle For Standard Passive Aggressiveness When You Can Poison Someone?
Young lady talking on her cell phone: We’re going to put Visine in her drink so she can’t go out with us. I heard it makes people really sick if you put it in there.
Minneapolis, The Quarry Target
Overheard by With friends like that, who needs enemies? -
Let’s Wait Until The “Silver” Year
Dad: Okay, kiddo, we have to go get an anniversary card now.
Son: Why do I need an anniversary card? I’m ONLY ten.Apple Valley, Target
Overheard by He’s got a point… -
Especially Since They Were Just Standing There
From one Target employee to another on their smoke break: Sooner or later the Law of Consequences takes over. It’s not like I liked looking at kids with their pants around their ankles.
Minneapolis, Lake St. Target
Overheard by me. -
She’s Holding All The Cards Now!
Teenage girl looking at colorful melamine plates: If you buy me these, Mom, I might actually eat.
Eden Prairie, Target
Overheard by Can you say eating disorder? -
It’s Way Too Important
20-something guy trying on sunglasses: How do these look? Take a picture of me!
20-something girl: I’m not wasting my iPhone battery on your face.St. Louis Park, Knollwood Super Target
Overheard by What happened to mirrors? -
That One Is Going To Be Trouble
Irritated mom to 3 year old girl: Ok, let’s go get you some panties and get out of here.
Defiant 3 year old girl, screaming: Panties-shmanties! I don’t need any panties!Brainerd, Target children’s department
Overheard by Giggling behind the Hannah Montana shirts. -
I’m Running All The Way There!
Dude in fancy shades to two friends also in fancy shades: I haven’t exercised in 2 weeks and I’m going to China next week! Can you believe it?
St. Paul, Midway Target
Overheard by Life in the fast lane.
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