28th September 2008

Helpful Tip: We Don’t Like This

Old man (to teenage girl): Hey! Hey, you dropped something.
Teenage girl: (stops walking and starts looking around) I don’t see anything. What did I drop?
Old man: You dropped your smile.

Saint Paul, Target
Overheard by meet my new best friend.

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24th September 2008

Oh, That’s Not Okay?

Little girl: I have to pee!
Mom: OK, honey, can you wait for a bit?
Little girl: Yeah. (pause) I’m going to pee in the sink!
Mom: No, don’t do that.
Little girl: *giggles*

Minneapolis, Target changing room
Overheard by JfA.

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18th September 2008

Found In Aisle 5

College Girl, looking in freezer aisle: Toaster Strudels!!!!
Mom and Brother (In Unison): You don’t have a toaster!
College Girl: FUCK!
Mom: (gasp)
College Girl: Sorry!

Roseville, SuperTarget
Overheard by Cary.

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15th September 2008

Yeah, Nothing Cheerful Or Fun Either

Ghetto-looking shopper to her equally ghetto friend, regarding display of items for the National Breast Cancer Association:  If I had the big “C”, the last thing I’d want to look at is pink stuff.

NE Minneapolis, Target
Overheard by Missing the big picture?

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3rd September 2008

Home Poopy Must Be Pretty Special

Little Boy: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.
Mom: Oh no.  Let’s go.
Little Boy: But I want to go home poopy.
Mom: No, we’re going to have to go here.
Little Boy: But I want to go home poopy!
Mom: You can’t go home poopy, we’ll go in the target bathroom.
Little Boy: But I WANT to go home poopy!
Mom: You have to go poopy here.
Little Boy: BUT I WANT TO GO HOME POOPY!

Medina, Super Target
Overheard by say “home poopy” one more time.

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2nd September 2008

Now We’re Blaming The Stores

Target Employee to Another: The way the store is set up is to make the child misbehave and be tempted.

Minnetonka,  Super Target
Overheard by Hilary!

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2nd September 2008

She Probably Did The Same

Blonde Roommate to Asian Roommate: Yeah, why don’t you go grab that? I’ll wait here, ok? (to friend after Asian Roommate hurries away) God, I don’t know what she just said. I just nodded and smiled.

Minneapolis, U of M Target Run
Overheard by I don’t even acknowledge my roomie…

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2nd September 2008

What He Means Is Toaster Strudel

Little boy looking at assorted traditional kids’ halloween costumes: Mom, can I be a poptart?

Minneapolis, Lake St. Target
Overheard by whoa, dream big.

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1st September 2008

This Should Never Be A Problem

Mom: Did you take my last tampon?
Daughter (aghast): No! I would never take the last tampon!
Mom: I think you did. I had almost a full box last month, and I went this morning and the box was empty.
Daughter: Well, I may have taken all the tampons leading up to it, but I would never take the last tampon. Jeez, mom.

Minneapolis, Nordeast Target
Overheard by not to split hairs or anything…

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31st August 2008

That Explains The Smell

One teenage boy to another: Man, did I have really bad gas.

Rogers, Target
Overheard by An innocent bystander.

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17th August 2008

Don’t Worry, They Come With Instruction Manuals

20-something woman talking on cell phone, looking perplexed and bewildered in front of diaper aisle: What size did she need?  Is there a certain brand?  I don’t see that kind.  How big of a pack?  There aren’t any less than 30.
(pause) Yeah, I am not ready to be having kids any time soon.

Blaine Super Target
Overheard by hibbet.

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17th August 2008

That Will Only Make It Worse

African American grandmother with cane crawling out of the back seat of a hatchback with 4 grandchildren of various ages: Well, put some cologne on, you stank!

St. Paul, Target Midway
Overheard by BikingSmellsBetter.

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12th August 2008

Stupid Children’s Books!

Grandmother in children’s book section: How about this one?
Young Mother: That book irritates me; the tiger in it is so cocky.
Grandmother: Yeah, it kind of is.
Young Mother: I mean, what’s up with how his spots get bigger throughout the whole book?  And he gets bigger too!  It’s like they’re showing us how cocky he’s getting.  I hate that tiger!
Other woman with them: Um, if he has spots he’s a cheetah.
Young Mother: I don’t give a damn what he is!  He’s cocky!

Arden Hills, Target
Overheard by a.lil.

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12th August 2008

For Reals

Teenage girl on bike, to her friends on bikes: This is the hooptiest hoopty I ever rode!

In front of Midtown Target

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8th August 2008

And Your Drama Isn’t

High-school-age girl: Ughh, I think I’m delusional.
Mom: You’re not delusional, honey, you’re having a panic attack.
High-school-age girl: Oh god, mom, you’re sooo embarrassing!

Eden Prairie Target
Overheard by a-town.

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5th August 2008

It’s Easier Than Going Door-To-Door

Angry middle aged woman on the phone: They’re Jewish criminals! They’ve been stealing children for over 11 years!!

Downtown Target
Overheard by well that was interesting.

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1st August 2008

But Is She Right?

Mom half laughing to tweenager girl: You, stop calling people crack heads. (Then to toddler) And you, stop saying crack! That’s awful!

Midtown Target
Overheard by Taking my break at the table next to theirs.

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1st August 2008

Wouldn’t He Enjoy That?

Mom, to preteen son: If you don’t straighten up your act, I’m sending you back to school with all Hannah Montana notebooks!

Roseville Target
Overheard by That’ll teach him

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31st July 2008

Lowered Expectations

Checkout lady while ringing up melamine lunch trays: We have these! My kids love ‘em. They like to pretend they are in jail. Give me some of that slop, mom!

Burnsville Target
Overheard by your mom.

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28th July 2008

Never Too Early For That Lesson

4 year old girl screaming and crying at the top of her lungs repeatedly for minutes: BUT I WANT THE TOY! I WANT IT MOMMY! WHY CAN’T I HAVE IT?! IT’S NOT FAIR!!!
Mom: Well, it’s time for you to learn that life isn’t fair.

Target Plymouth
Overheard by: Hopin’ that little girl grows up to be her mom’s parole officer.

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