Old man (to teenage girl): Hey! Hey, you dropped something.
Teenage girl: (stops walking and starts looking around) I don’t see anything. What did I drop?
Old man: You dropped your smile.

Saint Paul, Target
Overheard by meet my new best friend.

Little girl: I have to pee!
Mom: OK, honey, can you wait for a bit?
Little girl: Yeah. (pause) I’m going to pee in the sink!
Mom: No, don’t do that.
Little girl: *giggles*

Minneapolis, Target changing room
Overheard by JfA.

College Girl, looking in freezer aisle: Toaster Strudels!!!!
Mom and Brother (In Unison): You don’t have a toaster!
College Girl: FUCK!
Mom: (gasp)
College Girl: Sorry!

Roseville, SuperTarget
Overheard by Cary.

Ghetto-looking shopper to her equally ghetto friend, regarding display of items for the National Breast Cancer Association:  If I had the big “C”, the last thing I’d want to look at is pink stuff.

NE Minneapolis, Target
Overheard by Missing the big picture?

Little Boy: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.
Mom: Oh no.  Let’s go.
Little Boy: But I want to go home poopy.
Mom: No, we’re going to have to go here.
Little Boy: But I want to go home poopy!
Mom: You can’t go home poopy, we’ll go in the target bathroom.
Little Boy: But I WANT to go home poopy!
Mom: You have to go poopy here.
Little Boy: BUT I WANT TO GO HOME POOPY!

Medina, Super Target
Overheard by say “home poopy” one more time.

Target Employee to Another: The way the store is set up is to make the child misbehave and be tempted.

Minnetonka,  Super Target
Overheard by Hilary!

Blonde Roommate to Asian Roommate: Yeah, why don’t you go grab that? I’ll wait here, ok? (to friend after Asian Roommate hurries away) God, I don’t know what she just said. I just nodded and smiled.

Minneapolis, U of M Target Run
Overheard by I don’t even acknowledge my roomie…

Little boy looking at assorted traditional kids’ halloween costumes: Mom, can I be a poptart?

Minneapolis, Lake St. Target
Overheard by whoa, dream big.

Mom: Did you take my last tampon?
Daughter (aghast): No! I would never take the last tampon!
Mom: I think you did. I had almost a full box last month, and I went this morning and the box was empty.
Daughter: Well, I may have taken all the tampons leading up to it, but I would never take the last tampon. Jeez, mom.

Minneapolis, Nordeast Target
Overheard by not to split hairs or anything…

One teenage boy to another: Man, did I have really bad gas.

Rogers, Target
Overheard by An innocent bystander.

20-something woman talking on cell phone, looking perplexed and bewildered in front of diaper aisle: What size did she need?  Is there a certain brand?  I don’t see that kind.  How big of a pack?  There aren’t any less than 30.
(pause) Yeah, I am not ready to be having kids any time soon.

Blaine Super Target
Overheard by hibbet.

African American grandmother with cane crawling out of the back seat of a hatchback with 4 grandchildren of various ages: Well, put some cologne on, you stank!

St. Paul, Target Midway
Overheard by BikingSmellsBetter.

Grandmother in children’s book section: How about this one?
Young Mother: That book irritates me; the tiger in it is so cocky.
Grandmother: Yeah, it kind of is.
Young Mother: I mean, what’s up with how his spots get bigger throughout the whole book?  And he gets bigger too!  It’s like they’re showing us how cocky he’s getting.  I hate that tiger!
Other woman with them: Um, if he has spots he’s a cheetah.
Young Mother: I don’t give a damn what he is!  He’s cocky!

Arden Hills, Target
Overheard by a.lil.

Teenage girl on bike, to her friends on bikes: This is the hooptiest hoopty I ever rode!

In front of Midtown Target

High-school-age girl: Ughh, I think I’m delusional.
Mom: You’re not delusional, honey, you’re having a panic attack.
High-school-age girl: Oh god, mom, you’re sooo embarrassing!

Eden Prairie Target
Overheard by a-town.

Angry middle aged woman on the phone: They’re Jewish criminals! They’ve been stealing children for over 11 years!!

Downtown Target
Overheard by well that was interesting.

Mom half laughing to tweenager girl: You, stop calling people crack heads. (Then to toddler) And you, stop saying crack! That’s awful!

Midtown Target
Overheard by Taking my break at the table next to theirs.

Mom, to preteen son: If you don’t straighten up your act, I’m sending you back to school with all Hannah Montana notebooks!

Roseville Target
Overheard by That’ll teach him

Checkout lady while ringing up melamine lunch trays: We have these! My kids love ‘em. They like to pretend they are in jail. Give me some of that slop, mom!

Burnsville Target
Overheard by your mom.

4 year old girl screaming and crying at the top of her lungs repeatedly for minutes: BUT I WANT THE TOY! I WANT IT MOMMY! WHY CAN’T I HAVE IT?! IT’S NOT FAIR!!!
Mom: Well, it’s time for you to learn that life isn’t fair.

Target Plymouth
Overheard by: Hopin’ that little girl grows up to be her mom’s parole officer.