Dad to son: Buddy, you have to breathe. You can’t hold your breath forever.
Son: No! I’m never going to breathe again. I hate it!
Dad: …Sounds good.

Fridley, Lifetime Fitness Pool
Overheard by kaybay.

Soccer mom #1: Do you know what I heard the other day? Sun exposure is the leading cause of skin cancer.
Soccer mom #2: No way.

Lifetime Fitness

Teen to friends: Yeah, as if getting mugged isn’t bad enough, it’s even worse when the dude is naked.

Southdale Y
Overheard by JfA.

Girl: I won fifty bucks in the Hot Buns Contest last night.
Guy: So, does that mean you had the hottest buns?
Girl: Not really, I think I just looked the sluttiest.

Snap Fitness
Overheard by at least she’s honest with herself.

Mom of two pantless three year olds: I know bad poopies hurt the bottom.
One of the pantless three year olds: [sniffles and whines, holding his butt]
Mom of two pantless three year olds: I know bad poopies hurt the bottom.

Women’s Bathroom Eagan Life Time Fitness
Overheard by Lunch Lifetimer.

Older woman on elliptical machine, talking to husband: She’s been having trouble with her new puppy, he’s been going poopy in his cage.
Hard-of-hearing husband, standing next to her in street clothes: What? She named the dog Poopy?

Snap Fitness in Golden Valley
Overheard by not the worst dog name I ever heard.

Weightlifter #1: My mouth has been really dry lately, my skin, too.
Weightlifter #2: You think that’s bad? Once I had a yeast infection in my mouth. You need a spot?

Bloomington Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by Don’t use that bench press.