20-something girl walking out the door to her friend: When someone first told me they took a spinning class I thought they meant spinning in circles.

St. Paul, YMCA
Overheard by Its the only logical thought…

Fitness trainer: Yeah, this is my lip conditioner.
Secretary: A straight man would call it chapstick.

Worthington, Fitness Center
Overheard by Hahahahahahahaaaaaaa.

Guy getting dressed to another guy getting dressed: It was just too earth-toney. Looking at earth tones on websites all day is just gross.

Minneapolis, The men’s locker room @ Lifetime
Overheard by They must hate Al Gore.

Pretty Blonde Girl #1: He had the biggest ‘Mr. Winky’ I have ever seen.
Pretty Blonde Girl #2: ‘Mr. Winky’? Really? You are 27 years old.
Pretty Blonde Girl #1: What ELSE are you supposed to call it?

St Louis Park, Lifetime Fitness Locker Room
Overheard by Johnson & Johnson.

New gym member, dropped kid off to tour facility: We would love our son to be able to see the place but if he sees the P-O-O-L we’ll never get him out!
Employee: (spells out loud to herself) P-O-O-L. What is that?

Hopkins, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by Bunch.

Little girl: My arpits smell.
YMCA staff person: Maybe you should put deodorant on.
Little girl: I forgot to.
YMCA staff person: Maybe you need an alarm that goes “beep, beep” to remind you to put your deodorant on in the morning.
Little girl: (gives confused stare)

Minneapolis, Downtown YMCA
Overheard by lesson to be learned.

Overstressed-looking dad to teenage son: You know, maybe you should start seeing a therapist for this. ‘Cause you know what happens to kids who don’t go to see a therapist when they really ought to? They go crazy. CRAZY. And I mean, REALLY crazy. CRAZY! CRAAAAAZY! YOU DON’T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT, DO YOU? NOOOOO! ‘CAUSE THAT WOULD BE CRAAAAAAZY!

Woodbury, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by you’re one to talk…

Complete Douche in Training #1: Dude, doesn’t that chick totally look like the one you went down on a couple of weeks ago at John’s* party?
Complete Douche in Training #2: Yeah, Totally!  She was super young though, like 16 or something.
Complete Douche in Training #1: I still feel sort of bad for running into the room mid-act, stealing her pants and then throwing them on the roof.
Complete Douche in Training #2: Yeah.

Roseville, L.A. Fitness
Overheard by I weep for the future.

Workout Delinquent: I have court tomorrow.
Friend: For what?
Workout Delinquent: That terroristic threat I made a while back.
Friend: Still with that?
Workout Delinquent: Yeah, I’m on probation for another 6 months. I really want to kill that fucking judge.
Friend: Bummer.

Lakeville, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by Is this locker bulletproof?

4-year-old girl: I’m naked now!
Mother: Yes, you are naked now.
4-year-old girl: Yay!

Minneapolis, The YWCA locker room
Overheard by That was oddly adorable.

Old lady entering hot tub: Where are the bubbles?
Life Guard: (jokingly) You have to make your own.
Old lady: I didn’t think that was legal in public.

St. Paul, YWCA
Overheard by Now she knows.

Ghetto braski #1: So, you’re moving in with this chick?
Ghetto braski #2: Well, not until the results of the paternity test.
Ghetto braski #1: Yeah, good idea.

Minneapolis, Downtown YMCA locker room
Overheard by Drama-free roommate.

Girl lifeguard #1: How is your half-plastic baby doing?
Girl lifeguard #2: It’s made of silicon, not plastic.

Mankato, YMCA
Overheard by ZZH.

Middle aged woman with a British accent, regarding Obama’s inauguration: It was the best day of my life. Even more exciting than my marriage.  Or the birth of my two children.

Minneapolis, YWCA locker room
Overheard by your poor family.

College girl #1: I don’t know how people can get up and work out at 5:30 in the morning.
College girl #2: Well, if they go to bed early…
College girl #1: Yeah, like at 3 in the afternoon!
College girl #2: Yeah, I know. I once took a class at like 7am.
College girl #1: Even that’s too early. My body is so tired I can barely…  pee that early in the morning.

Winona, YMCA
Overheard by Maybe she should wear Depends.

Girl #1: God, I just wish it was warm enough to wear flip flops.
Girl #2: I’ll flip YOUR flop.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: It’s an expression, duh.

Plymouth, Lifetime
Overheard by …nope, I dont think it is.

 Loud, eccentric woman wearing brightly striped tights with her outfit: Tights! I’m telling you.  Tights are the key to tying together an outfit.  When things just don’t go together, you gotta get some fun tights or stockings.  Tights make everything better.

Minneapolis, YWCA locker room
Overheard by I can think of a lot of better things than tights.

Personal trainer to client: There’s some protein in milk, but there’s more in dairy.

Highland Park, Lifetime Fitness
Overheard by Rico Suave.

Dad to son: Buddy, you have to breathe. You can’t hold your breath forever.
Son: No! I’m never going to breathe again. I hate it!
Dad: …Sounds good.

Fridley, Lifetime Fitness Pool
Overheard by kaybay.

Soccer mom #1: Do you know what I heard the other day? Sun exposure is the leading cause of skin cancer.
Soccer mom #2: No way.

Lifetime Fitness