Young woman: When I was a kid, I was scared of a lot of things. Like whenever I’d run around, I’d think someone was following me because I’d hear footsteps. Later I realized it was the sound of my own feet.

Walking track, YWCA
Overheard by Thanks, Jack Handy.

YMCA worker: My high for the weekend, I met an awesome homeless guy named Mask. I offered to take him to Mesa Pizza. My low for the weekend, I gave a homeless man my home address and phone number.

U-YMCA
Overheard by one at a time.

YWCA worker #1(to member coming in): Is it still hot out there?
YWCA member: Oh yeah.
YWCA worker #1: Gross. My apartment was like an ARMPIT earlier!!
YWCA worker #2: I’ve been there. I can attest to that.
(Several seconds later)
YWCA worker #2: Just to clarify, I’ve been to her apartment… not her armpit. Just wanted to clear that up.

YWCA Uptown
Overheard by just passing by.

Son (5ish): But what if another kid does it?
Type A Mother: There aren’t any other children here.
Son (5ish): (looking around the pool) But everyone has a mother–they’re all kids!
Type A Mother: (glares at son)
Daughter (7ish): But aren’t we all children of God, mommy?
Type A Mother: You know what I think about that distinction…

Uptown YWCA
Overheard by humbled by their humor.

Middle Aged Guy: A dip in the sauna, huh?
Old Guy: What?
Middle Aged Guy: Just in the sauna, huh?
Old Guy: The sauna?
Middle Aged Guy: YEAH, THE SAUNA!
Old Guy: It’s right over there.

Midtown YWCA
Overheard by taylor.

Girl #1: So what did you name your goldfish?
Girl #2: Henry Kissinger. Even though I hate Henry Kissinger.
Girl #1: That’s nice.
Girl #2: He just looks all chubby and cute like Henry Kissinger.
Girl #1: All the good things about him, and none of the support of violent coups in other countries.
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: It’s like Henry Kissinger reborn as a fish.
[Pause. Girl #2 stares.]
Girl #1: Yes, I know he’s not dead. Who says you have to be dead to be reborn?

Uptown YWCA locker room