U of M employee during white elephant gift exchange: OH MY GOD! Peggy* got a Snuggie!!

St. Paul, U of M administrative holiday party
Overheard by guest.

Loud annoying 20-something girl: EVERYTHING FROM MY CHILDHOOD IS DYING!

U of M, Comstock Diner
Overheard by For God’s sake- shut the hell up.

College girl on phone: Well, did you make him pay you? (pause) Then you’re not a hooker, you’re just a slut.

St. Paul, University of Minnesota Campus
Overheard by Neither One.

Nerdy guy offering advice to a girl: I’m sure the citizenship test isn’t that hard.

U of M Blegen Hall tunnel by the coffee shop
Overheard by Had to memorize all 43 Presidents names and the Declaration of Independence.

College Student #1: They were totally making out all last night on my couch.
College Student #2: Well, they’re not Facebook offical.

Minneapolis, Pioneer Hall
Overheard by so your argument is void.

A well appointed young undergrad, to her friend: I had my maid do my Chinese homework.

Minneapolis, Willey Hall
Overheard by passerby.

Guy #1: Hey man, I’m going to stop at the bathroom quick.
Guy #2: Alright I’ll come with you, I can check how badly my underwear is soiled.

U of M West Bank
Overheard by you too!

Girl: I just LOVE the squirrels in this city! They always run off with slices of pizza and 3 Musketeers bars.
Friend: I know! They’re just so cute!

U of MN, East Bank
Overheard by why haven’t i seen any of those super squirrels?

Freshman girl on phone: So, she was telling me that she is only into insane guys. Like, the example she used was Batman, you know, from that movie?

Minneapolis, Frontier Hall
Overheard by people need someone to be insane.

College girl, to friend: I used to think that, you know, a little bit of volume in your hair was good. But now it just looks like you’re wearing a BumpIt, and that’s just embarrassing.

Minneapolis, U of M sidewalk
Overheard by Burrhead.

College Boy: And with my own clone! Now neither one of us is a virgin!

U of M, dining hall

Guy #1: So, how was the food?
Guy #2: I don’t know. I mean, it could have been a prostitute.

Chemistry Building, U of M
Overheard by I really hope that I missed a connecting sentence.

Slightly overweight female office worker #1: You feel like being productive tonight? Hey! We could play Wii Fit. I have Wii Fit.
Slightly overweight female office worker #2, begrudgingly: Yeah, okay, sure.
Slightly overweight female office worker #1: Or, we could go to Chili’s.
Slightly overweight female office worker #2, emphatically: YES.

U of M Gopher Way
Overheard by I hope these two don’t run a Motivation Club.

College girl: My baritone smells like an alcoholic.

Willey Hall, UofM west bank campus
Overheard by Probably Grandpa’s doing.

Girl (to pizza Delivery Guy): How do they check for deliciousness? They said they check for deliciousness!
Delivery Guy: I didn’t touch it, don’t worry.

St. Paul, Bailey Hall U of M Campus
Overheard by Working Late.

College guy to his friends in the cafeteria: Dude, he woke up in a onesie; in a Snuggie. With a sword.

University of Minnesota
Overheard by Just another day at the U.

Young man, to his group of friends: If I saw her, I swear I’d kick her in the face and punch her in the vagina. (To the young lady now staring at him) But not you! I wouldn’t punch you in the vagina because you’re lovely!

U of M- the mall
Overheard by Right in the babymaker!

Fellow office worker: You know, if you really want to do something gross, go back in the labs and smell the rats.

U of M research labs
Overheard by I’ll just stick to waking up to smell the coffee.

College girl #1: I really don’t feel like going to class today. Let’s play hooker.
College girl #2: Umm, you mean “hooky,” right? You want to play hooky.

University of Minnesota
Overheard by You don’t need a college degree for that.

New coworker on the phone to her boyfriend: Sexy is as sexy does, and I just don’t feel it. You don’t make my juices flow.

Minneapolis, office at the University of Minnesota
Overheard by Good to know.