Girl in Dormitory: The JellyBelly Company should start making condoms; couples could be safer and taste like a berry smoothie.
Boy in Dormitory: Wait. Wouldn’t that mean that the guy would have to use more than one?

Middlebrook Dorm Lounge
Overheard by A JellyBelly Lover.

Blonde girl in pink jacket with ugg boots: I totally get irresponsible in the winter time. I haven’t sent my Netflix back in, like, three days!

University of Minnesota classroom
Overheard by And I thought I was responsible…

Girl to friend: I just gave myself the eye!
Friend: Was it sexy?
Girl: OH YEAH!

Centennial Dining Hall
Overheard by Huh?

Freshman girl #1 (on internet kiosk): Hey, what does E-S-Q mean?
Freshman girl #2: Esquire. It’s a title.
Freshman girl #1: LIKE THE MAGAZINE?!??

U of M, Elliot Hall
Overheard by giggling into my starbucks cup.

Girl, taking shirt off rack and handing it to boyfriend: But you’d have to pee all over it so they’d take it back.
Boyfriend: True.

UofM Bookstore
Overheard by I thought the Gold sale was last week.

Professor: Did I forget my laser pointer?  I guess I’ll actually have to use my fingers to point at things.

U of MN

Girl #1: Yeah, I see him working out in his underwear all the time.
Girl #2: I think he’s homeless but he lives there.

Minneapolis, U of M
Overheard by boournz.

Blonde Ditz #1: Oh my god.  I just noticed; INternal and EXternal are opposites!
Blonde Ditz #2: OH YEAH.  Duh.  Why didn’t we know that?
Blonde Ditz #1: That was totally my ‘aha’ moment of the day.

Minneapolis, Coffman Union, U of M
Overheard by How do these people get into college?!

Female voter to friend: I don’t remember the exact number, but either 200 million or billion people are going to vote today.

U of MN
Overheard byLet’s hope she wasn’t one of them.

College bro in the LONG line at the polls: Dude, I should have brought my flask.

ULHC at the polls (U of M)
Overheard by I feel your pain.

Student in stats class: Because orange is the color of peanut butter!

U of MN
Overheard by what peanut butter are you eating?!?

Buddy #1: Dude, what’s a guy-row?
Buddy #2: You mean gyro?
Buddy #1: No no, euro is a currency used in Europe, I’m talking about those guy-rows over there.
Buddy #2: Oh, I don’t know what they are.
Buddy #1: Well, they’re Greek so they probably aren’t that good anyways.

U of M dining hall

Student #1: (thinking) It smelled like… it smelled like…
Student #2: It smelled like genocide!

Minneapolis, U of M Classroom
Overheard by Rabbit.

Girl on phone: So, I was driving down this street yesterday because I had to get my oil changed and you have to take your car to Bloomington to get your oil changed, and I’m going down this street and I see this bus pulled over and there’s all these cop cars and TV cameras, but I was like, whatever, not that big of a deal, but then I saw this bike bent UNDER the bus. A BIKE. Under a BUS. So, then I was late for my oil change.

U of MN Folwell Hall
Overheard by a bike, you say?

Girl: I’ve never even tried drugs.
Guy: It’s fun.
Girl: (disgusted) It’s FUN??!?
Guy: It is. It really is.

U, West Bank
Overheard by same, dude.

Roommate #1: But if she has a denty-face…
Roommate #2: Well, that has no bearing on her sphincter.

U of M apartment
Overheard by Roommate #3.

Ditsy girl talking to friend: Well, my boyfriend… and I don’t know if you know this but a lot of guys, when they drink, wet the bed.

Melrose Apartment Complex, U of M
Overheard by No sweetie, that’s just what he tells you.

Office Building Tenant: Oh, and I just wanted to let you know there was a fire in the dumpster last week.  I looked for the security guard in the building, but couldn’t find him.  I didn’t know who else to notify, so I just went home.

Minneapolis, Campus Office Building
Overheard by Uh… how about 911?

Young man on cell phone: If you think negatively, that just makes it worse.  It’s like a feedback loop, do you realise that?

U of M campus
Overheard by Positive thinking.

Boss: Fifteen poets in one room? That WOULD be insufferable!

University of Minnesota
Overheard by workin’ hard.