College girl talking to her group of girlfriends: You know… we’re just like those girls.

After a screening of Mean Girls at Coffman Union
Overheard by I hate these stupid assholes.

Girl:  Sometimes I like to look at pictures of deaf people online.  They don’t look any different!

U of M campus

Girl during evolution lab in biology: So, humans came from monkeys right? So, if two monkeys had a baby and it was a human, like, what would we do with it?

U of M biology lab
Overheard by we would name it tarzan.

Bookstore clerk: Sorry, we’re not buying this book.
Student #1: Looks like we’ve got some firewood.
Student #2: Nooo!  Now we can’t buy weed!  Why???
Student #1: Whatever dude.
Student #2: (distraught) WHY!?

UMN bookstore
Overheard by You could always ask your parents for some money.

Girl Prepping for Final: So, who was the leader of the Greeks that fought against Odysseus?
Girl’s Friend: I think his name was Troy.

U of M Classroom Before Final
Overheard by May the Grading be Swift.

U of M administrator: I’ve been thinking that I should start my own cult. It doesn’t have to be anything sexual. It could involve squirrels.

U of M
Overheard by Count me in!

Mother: So, are you glad you lived in the dorms this year?
Perky Daughter: Yeah! I made so many friends!
Mother: That’s good. When I lived in the dorms I was just really, really lonely.
Perky Daughter: Oh.

u of m- superblock
Overheard by awkward…

Girl #1: So, did you finally give it up last night?
Girl #2: No, I think I want to be sober my first time.
Girl #1: You should have told me that sooner. I have spent a lot of money getting you drunk so someone can take advantage of you!

Campus Bus @ U of M
Overheard by I want a friend like this.

Guy #1: Seriously, that girl has a mouth the size of a dinosaur.
Guy #2: What kind of dinosaur?
Guy #1: A big mouthed dinosaur.

u of mn mall
Overheard by he could have said any noun.

Small white high school girl: I am like Dear Abby, you know, in the newspaper, where people write in and ask you stuff… except gay, and Thai. It’s like “Dear Abby, why do I have flesh broccoli growing from my naughty bits?” and I’m like, “How the fuck do I know! Go see a doctor!”

u of MN campus - mall area

College Airhead #1: What if you opened your pop and the code inside said you won a million dollars? I’d get up in class and be all, like, “screw this lab” and run out!
College Airhead #2: Yeah, me too. But a million dollars isn’t even that much money.
College Airhead #1: You would so run out of that so quickly.
College Airhead #2: Yeah, you can’t even have a baby for a million dollars these days.
College Airhead #1: Yeah.
College Airhead #2: You could totally do that thing where you invest it while you were in school and then you would be a billionaire in no time.
College Airhead #1: Yeah, I would use it to pay off my loans.
College Airhead #2: Totally.

U of M Campus Bus
Overheard by I hope they aren’t studying to be financial planners.

Girl #1: No seriously, lets all go on a diet.
Girls #2 & #3: Yeah!
Girl #1: Okay no more junk food.
Girls #2 & #3: Alright.
(exit Girl #1)
Girl #2: Do you have any candy?

Bio Med Library U of M
Overheard by Thats willpower.

Girl #1, pointing at passing student: Did you see those Burberry boots?? HIDEOUS! How much do you think those things cost? Like, $400, $500?
Girl #2: I have no idea. If I were to guess, I’d say probably stupid-hundred dollars.

U of M West Bank, outside Willey
Overheard by Money well spent?

Girl talking on the phone: Hey, I left my camera there last night. Oh, and my hammer. And Jane left a mallet.

U of MN superblock
Overheard by what kind of party was this?

Young liberal girl:  Yes, if you look at the Mormon church and all that they say, it’s crazy. If you get married in a mormon church you get special underwear, you get your own planet when you die, and you are eternally pregnant. Yes, ’cause 9 months isn’t enough, I want to be preggers forever! SIGN ME UP MORMON CHURCH!

u of MN campus, mall area

Noble errand running friend: Here.
Uninjured guy laying on the curb next to the bushes at 2am: Dude, this is only one napkin; I said I need two motha fuckin’ napkins.

U of M, Bierman Sports Bldg
Overheard by yo ho ho.

Girl, to her friends: The whole thing was just like, really complicated and I was just like, you know what? No. Just… like, no. And she was like, oh, okay.

u of m living establishments
Overheard by that does seem complicated.

Drunk Guy: I need some beer RIGHT NOW, or else I’m going to DIE.

u of m- superblock
Overheard by that does sound like a dire emergency.

Guy #1: *singing tunelessly*
Guy #2: Hey, *Luke, what are you singing?
Guy #1: What does it look like I’m singing?

Middlebrook Hall
Overheard by Seymour.

College Girl: You fucking cheated on me!
College Boy: But I said sorry!
College Girl: You cheated on me TWICE!
College Boy: I know, but I said sorry. Twice.

U of M, spring jam
Overheard by Second Times the Charm.