Older woman going through a dumpster: An oven mit. Hey, do you have one of those nice fancy kitchens? The kind you can cook things in?

Uptown alley

Sloshed loud dude talking to randoms: I’m a Jewish Beatles freak!

Greenmill Uptown
Overheard by who cares.

Mother talking to Stylist: Yes, it was just so gnarly.
Mortified Daughter: Mom! Don’t EVER use that word again.  PLEASE!
Mother, confused: What?? Gnarly?
Even more Mortified Daughter: YES!! Please! Just don’t say it EVER again, okay?
(Mother shrugs shoulders)
Stylist: Don’t be mean to your mother!

Uptown Salon SaBel
Overheard by Snicker.

Girl #1: So, which do you want to get? Mild or medium?
Girl #2: Mild is the hotter one, right?

Rainbow Foods, Uptown
Overheard by wow.

Guy: Law students are not hot.
Girl: I know some hot law students.
Guy: Well, the girls, yeah.  But not the guys.
Girl: No, guys too.
Guy: Well… they’re all dicks.

Herkimer
Overheard by i think someone feels a little threatened.

Mother: Stop calling him that, it’s not a very nice name!
4-year old boy: What’s not a very nice name?
Mother: Chunky.
4-year old boy: But his name is Chunky.
Mother: No it’s not, it’s Thomas.

Isles Bun & Coffee, Uptown
Overheard by thankfully, not Thomas’ mother.

Angry 20something walking out of bathroom with friend: You’ve never made HOLLANDAISE?!

Bathroom, Calhoun Square
Overheard by aeh.

Sleazy Bald Guy posting Church of Scientology ads on the stoplights: Yeah, we’re gonna post all up Lake Street tonight because there will be tons of people out. F*#%in’ great night to get our message out. (Waves two friends across the street on a Don’t Walk signal) Let’s cross.

Lagoon & Hennepin in Uptown
Overheard by What a Great F*#%in’ Message!

MetroMan talking loudly and angrily on cell phone: I am a VIRGO, and she’s a Scorpio. If she thinks she can STING THIS VIRGO she’s got another thing coming!

LynLake restaurant Patio
Overheard by Poison.

20-something cashier #1:  So, what’s up with the 4th of July? Why are we celebrating?
20-something cashier #2:  Are you serious?
20-something cashier #1:  Yeah, what’s up with the 4th of July?
20-something cashier #2:  Uh, it’s our nation’s independence… you know, Independence Day?
20-something cashier #1:  Oh, I didn’t know that.
20-something cashier #2:  (shaking head)  Wow.

Gas station in Uptown
Overheard by Wow is right.  I’m scared for America.

Girl: Good luck with that. You’ll end up with barbed wire embedded in your genitals if you go there on foot. And I’ll say I told you so.

Hidden Beach

Guy #1: I’m over this. Let’s go to my place, pop some pills and watch infomercials.
Guy #2: Do you have A/C?
Guy #1: Huh?
Guy #2: A/C?
Guy #1: What’s that?
Guy #2: Air conditioning, dude!
Guy #1: Why the hell didn’t you just say air conditioning? You’re so lazy you gotta abbreviate it?

Hidden Beach

Drunk man to girlfriend: So, it’s like swiss cheese, okay? All the women I’ve ever slept with are like swiss cheese.

Uptown
Overheard by wow, where do you pick up girls?

Man standing close to my friend and I at a urinal: This reminds me of work.

CC Club
Overheard by What do you do for a living?

Woman to table of friends: So, there I was in Texas with a bunch of Asians and they didn’t know.

Herkimer patio
Overheard by That could have been me.

White (looking) guy to other white (looking) guy: When I eventually say, “My dad’s from Iraq”, it’s almost an immediate, “You’re undatable.”

Caffetto
Overheard by You wouldn’t be undatable to me… if you weren’t a dude.

Cutie queen: I’m not being judgmental but, hello, the 80s called and they want their recreational drug back.

Uptown Pride Block Party
Overheard by Alexis.

Man waiting outside the porta-potties, speaking to a man inside the porta-potties: Number one: Stop going number two!

Lake of the Isles
Overheard by CT.

Man: I want a beer and a shot of tequila!
Woman: No.  You don’t.

Uptown Bar
Overheard by An Invisible Fiend.

Old black man, walking erratically and muttering to himself as he passes a tall black woman with dreads walking hand-in-hand with her white husband: Damn… that’s the problem with Minnesota. Blacks and whites together. What the hell? This state is so fucked up… why, Minnesota?  All gone to hell.

Lyndale Ave, outside The Wedge
Overheard by I remember the good old days.