A high school girl after a screening of “Let the Right One In”: Well, it’s no Twilight.

Minneapolis, Lagoon Theater
Overheard by it’s no Twilight, because it’s good.

Suddenly serious 12 year old boy: That Batman Lego set was SUCH a disappointment.

Uptown, GameStop

Boyfriend: My drunk girlfriend seems to like it.
Drunk girlfriend stumbles back into the bar after being led out of the kitchen: Whaaa? What the fuck?!
Boyfriend: Let’s go towards the exit.

Uptown, Green Mill
Overheard by witnessed their domestic in the parking lot.  True love.

Husband to his wife at the next table: Did you know that Sarah Palin was wearing three hundred thousand dollars worth of clothes on her. At ONE time?! Three hundred thousand dollars.

Minneapolis, Uptown restaurant
Overheard by and you think she’s the idiot…

Woman in bathroom stall: I’ll tell you why… that’s because she’s a cold hearted, backstabbing WHORE!

Minneapolis, Uptown, Figlio’s bathroom
Overheard by is there any other kind?

Mom to her teenage daughter: You should really try on this sweater. It looks so warm.
Teenage daughter: Mom, it’s way too small. One of my nipples wouldn’t even fit in there!

Urban Outfitters in Uptown
Overheard by Pretending I didn’t hear that.

Overweight woman in wheelchair, holding a chihuahua and a bottle of cheap whiskey, yelling at her disgruntled husband: Hey, go get me some diet coke, I need a mixer.

Uptown McDonalds
Overheard by don’t we all.

Old high school friend:  What’s your senior memory?
Barista: Senior memories?  My senior memory was smoking crack.

Minneapolis, An anonymous Uptown cafe
Overheard by ORLY.

Woman, talking to a friend about what music will be played at her wedding dance: There will be no country played at my wedding. It’s all my fiance and his family listen to, and I’m not going to have Toby Keith and some… Conway Twitty cowboy dipshit ruining my wedding.

Minneapolis, 26th & Blaisdell
Overheard by conway twitty.

Emo punk #1:  Man, people don’t know.  Beggin’ is, like, way harder than working, right?  It’s not easy sitting out here begging and looking retarded and sh&t!
Emo punk #2:  (nodding in agreement)

Uptown, in front of McDonalds
Overheard by Are you serious??

Twenty-something guy: I’m fat, and I’m broke, and the world is ending. Why can’t I just have a goddamn cheeseburger???

Minneapolis, Uptown
Overheard by me too.

Girl with touseled hair: I showed up to work this morning in heels, leggings, a t-shirt that belongs to the boy I slept with last night, and the sweater I wore to the bars. I don’t think my boss was too happy with me but I didn’t think it looked that obvious.

Urban Outfitters in Uptown
Overheard by actually, it looks blatantly obvious.

Middle-aged woman yelling on phone: So, he trusts in God, and God trusts in him, and then he’s able to save his marriage!

Plan B, Uptown
Overheard by a.lil.

Hip 20-something to friend: …the girl behind me doesn’t draw the shades, and it’s quite the show.

Minneapolis, Lagoon Theatre
Overheard by aeh.

Loud guy: If you don’t have enough oil in your diet, you can’t poop. Something has to grease the skids.

Minneapolis, Tryg’s
Overheard by Is this true?

Male friend to female friend: See, I told you it wasn’t a pigeon!

Minneapolis, Uptown
Overheard by Thanks for finding my African Grey Parrot!

Guy:  So, are you and my brother a thing?
Girl:  I don’t know…
Guy:  Can I tell you something about my brother?  You know me.  He’s not me.
Girl:  That’s kind of what I was hoping.

Bar in Uptown
Overheard by I’m not my brother either.

Airhead Girl #1: Well, is he cute?
Airhead Girl #2: No. (Long Pause) But, he has a nice car!

Uptown
Overheard by Do people still care about that?

30-something to his girlfriend: Don’t look at my penis when I’m a squirrel!

Uptown
Overheard by Oh Nuts.

Wannabe hipster girl: I’m anorexic!
Wannabe hipster friend: No way.
Wannabe hipster girl: No seriously! I’m anorexic, since lunch!
Wannabe hipster friend: …okay.

Uptown Lund’s Caribou
Overheard by the actual hipsters were way more polite.