Guy waiting in line outside the Independent to a group of friends: Holy Shit! It’s balls to butt in there!!

Independent
Overheard by Glad I was just leaving!

12 year old girl shouting across scents section to another 12 year old girl: Storm! Storm, you have to smell this. Storm! Storm!  STORM! STORM! SMELL THIS, STORM! (walks 20 feet to other girl) Smell this, Storm! Storm, you should smell this.
Storm:  It’s ok.

Uptown Victoria’s Secret
Overheard by there should be an age limit for Victoria’s Secret.

Woman wearing fringe shoes, holding a pair of fringe boots: These aren’t an impulse buy, are they?  I’m mean, they’re suuuuper comfortable.

Shoe store in Calhoun Square
Overheard by LB.

Woman in car shouting to man who just got out: You ain’t gonna give me back my bong?!

Uptown
Overheard by JfA.

Girl walking and talking to boy: …and our LAWYER was there! Getting super drunk and getting a lap-dance!

Franklin & Hennepin
Overheard by how naughty!

25-year old girl playing loud music for guests: Hey crazy kids, any requests?
Angry old neighbor pops his head over the fence: I’ve got a request for you.  It’s called turn that shit off!

Backyard BBQ, Uptown around 9pm
Overheard by wild turkey attack.

Hipster 20 something girl talking to two other hipster 20 somethings: Yeah, I’ve had four abortions.
Other hipsters: Wow.
Hipster 20 something girl: Yeah, I get pregnant a lot. It just runs in the family!

Uptown, Minneapolis
Overheard by pro….choice?

Woman who just boarded to college guy sitting and talking with a friend: I know you, you work at Target!
Guy: Yeah.
(minutes of silence pass)
Woman: No disrespect but, a man and a woman, who would you choose?
Guy: (stunned, jaw dropped, silence)
Woman: I mean I can’t tell, I’m trying to guess, who would you choose?
Guy: (stunned, jaw dropped, silence)
Woman: Well I’m just trying to guess…
Guy: (curtly) keep guessing.
Woman, to herself as she gets off: That was none of my fucking business.
Guy to friend: (icily) Thanks, John. Thanks for making me sit in the back of the bus.

21 bus, Uptown
Overheard by another sunned passenger.

Hipster to hipstress boarding the 21 in Uptown: What is that smell!? It smells like, like…
Hipstress: Like stale alcohol? (pointing to the wet patch that stretches the length of the bus and taking a seat across the isle from him)
Hipster: Well, I’m not sitting there and letting that shit soak into my pants. (pause) God, I hate the 21. This is why I haven’t taken the bus in the three months I’ve been back and have gladly paid for cabs instead. Now get over here and sit next to me before some creeper does!

21 bus, Uptown
Overheard by Driver.

Older woman going through a dumpster: An oven mit. Hey, do you have one of those nice fancy kitchens? The kind you can cook things in?

Uptown alley

Sloshed loud dude talking to randoms: I’m a Jewish Beatles freak!

Greenmill Uptown
Overheard by who cares.

Mother talking to Stylist: Yes, it was just so gnarly.
Mortified Daughter: Mom! Don’t EVER use that word again.  PLEASE!
Mother, confused: What?? Gnarly?
Even more Mortified Daughter: YES!! Please! Just don’t say it EVER again, okay?
(Mother shrugs shoulders)
Stylist: Don’t be mean to your mother!

Uptown Salon SaBel
Overheard by Snicker.

Girl #1: So, which do you want to get? Mild or medium?
Girl #2: Mild is the hotter one, right?

Rainbow Foods, Uptown
Overheard by wow.

Guy: Law students are not hot.
Girl: I know some hot law students.
Guy: Well, the girls, yeah.  But not the guys.
Girl: No, guys too.
Guy: Well… they’re all dicks.

Herkimer
Overheard by i think someone feels a little threatened.

Mother: Stop calling him that, it’s not a very nice name!
4-year old boy: What’s not a very nice name?
Mother: Chunky.
4-year old boy: But his name is Chunky.
Mother: No it’s not, it’s Thomas.

Isles Bun & Coffee, Uptown
Overheard by thankfully, not Thomas’ mother.

Angry 20something walking out of bathroom with friend: You’ve never made HOLLANDAISE?!

Bathroom, Calhoun Square
Overheard by aeh.

Sleazy Bald Guy posting Church of Scientology ads on the stoplights: Yeah, we’re gonna post all up Lake Street tonight because there will be tons of people out. F*#%in’ great night to get our message out. (Waves two friends across the street on a Don’t Walk signal) Let’s cross.

Lagoon & Hennepin in Uptown
Overheard by What a Great F*#%in’ Message!

MetroMan talking loudly and angrily on cell phone: I am a VIRGO, and she’s a Scorpio. If she thinks she can STING THIS VIRGO she’s got another thing coming!

LynLake restaurant Patio
Overheard by Poison.

20-something cashier #1:  So, what’s up with the 4th of July? Why are we celebrating?
20-something cashier #2:  Are you serious?
20-something cashier #1:  Yeah, what’s up with the 4th of July?
20-something cashier #2:  Uh, it’s our nation’s independence… you know, Independence Day?
20-something cashier #1:  Oh, I didn’t know that.
20-something cashier #2:  (shaking head)  Wow.

Gas station in Uptown
Overheard by Wow is right.  I’m scared for America.

Girl: Good luck with that. You’ll end up with barbed wire embedded in your genitals if you go there on foot. And I’ll say I told you so.

Hidden Beach