Posts Tagged ‘uptown’
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She Knows What She Doesn’t Want
Guy: So, are you and my brother a thing?
Girl: I don’t know…
Guy: Can I tell you something about my brother? You know me. He’s not me.
Girl: That’s kind of what I was hoping.Bar in Uptown
Overheard by I’m not my brother either. -
His Personality? I Didn’t Ask…
Airhead Girl #1: Well, is he cute?
Airhead Girl #2: No. (Long Pause) But, he has a nice car!Uptown
Overheard by Do people still care about that? -
How About Your Nuts?
30-something to his girlfriend: Don’t look at my penis when I’m a squirrel!
Uptown
Overheard by Oh Nuts. -
Well, Maybe After This Blueberry Muffin
Wannabe hipster girl: I’m anorexic!
Wannabe hipster friend: No way.
Wannabe hipster girl: No seriously! I’m anorexic, since lunch!
Wannabe hipster friend: …okay.Uptown Lund’s Caribou
Overheard by the actual hipsters were way more polite. -
Nothing I Could Know About This Guy Would Redeem Him
Hot girl on cell phone: Um, why were your boxers in the bathroom trashcan this morning? Ok, well from now on throw them away in the dumpster and maybe, I don’t know, wipe before you decide to do lunges?
Lyndale/Franklyn bus stop
Overheard by Ummm…you could do better. -
That Sounds Pretty Easy
Clerk #1: My mind is shot.
Clerk #2, seriously: Just unshoot it.Uptown Super America
Overheard by Let me just grab my un-gun… -
It’s Just So Sad
Middle Aged Drunk White Lady, unironically: Dude, where’s my car?
Uptown
Overheard by Unicorn Lover. -
It’s Full
Skinny gay man: I’m so fat. Someone should just shoot me!
Friend: You’re not fat!
Skinny gay man: Take me out to the fat dumpster.Uptown
Overheard by He’s only kinda fat… -
Fate Brought Them Together
Big cashier: You know, you look like Mister Clean’s little son.
Bald guy: Well, you look like a double wide trailer.
Big cashier: That’s funny, cause that’s the first place I made love to your mom.
Bald guy: Sometimes when people talk I can’t hear them.Walgreen’s in Uptown
Overheard by ooh burn. -
Chuck Norris Can Touch MC Hammer
Preppy “bro” type guy: (looking at a book about graffiti and reading a poem done in graffiti)
Other guy: That was dumb.
Preppy bro: Yeah, that was silly. Seriously that was just so silly. Silly, silly, silly! (long pause) Hey look, a book about Chuck Norris!Urban Outfitters, Uptown
Overheard by chuck norris is also silly…silly silly. -
Yeah, That Was A Risk
Random crazy man to lesbian couple holding hands: You’re not homosexuals, you’re just wealthy sadists! I don’t buy it… you’ll never rape me you motherfuckers.
Uptown
Overheard by well i was sure confused. -
I Love Them
Gay redhead short-short wearer: Did you ever imagine yourself falling in love with a ginger vegetarian?
Gay smoking short-short wearer: (takes drag from cigarette) Not in a million years.Uptown
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This Game Is Not A Challenge In Minnesota
Teenage girl sitting on curb: 37!
Her dad sitting next to her: Where? I need to see it to validate it.
Teenage girl: Over there, see the woman is holding it. Sort of like, “I didn’t want to get sweat marks from my fanny pack but it’s so cute I have to carry it with me anyway”.
Dad: Oooh I see it! 38!Uptown art fair
Overheard by fanny pack #45. -
Some People Like That
Guy waiting in line outside the Independent to a group of friends: Holy Shit! It’s balls to butt in there!!
Independent
Overheard by Glad I was just leaving! -
When Are They Too Old For A Harness?
12 year old girl shouting across scents section to another 12 year old girl: Storm! Storm, you have to smell this. Storm! Storm! STORM! STORM! SMELL THIS, STORM! (walks 20 feet to other girl) Smell this, Storm! Storm, you should smell this.
Storm: It’s ok.Uptown Victoria’s Secret
Overheard by there should be an age limit for Victoria’s Secret. -
Let’s Break Down The Word ‘Impulse’
Woman wearing fringe shoes, holding a pair of fringe boots: These aren’t an impulse buy, are they? I’m mean, they’re suuuuper comfortable.
Shoe store in Calhoun Square
Overheard by LB. -
You Have To Ask?
Woman in car shouting to man who just got out: You ain’t gonna give me back my bong?!
Uptown
Overheard by JfA. -
NOT A LAWYER!
Girl walking and talking to boy: …and our LAWYER was there! Getting super drunk and getting a lap-dance!
Franklin & Hennepin
Overheard by how naughty! -
And Get Off My Damn Lawn!
25-year old girl playing loud music for guests: Hey crazy kids, any requests?
Angry old neighbor pops his head over the fence: I’ve got a request for you. It’s called turn that shit off!Backyard BBQ, Uptown around 9pm
Overheard by wild turkey attack. -
Stupidity?
Hipster 20 something girl talking to two other hipster 20 somethings: Yeah, I’ve had four abortions.
Other hipsters: Wow.
Hipster 20 something girl: Yeah, I get pregnant a lot. It just runs in the family!
Uptown, Minneapolis
Overheard by pro….choice?
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