Posts Tagged ‘weddings’
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Rehearsing His Speech
Groomsman having a cigarette: America first! Black people liked America, even during slavery. Now they all fucking hate America.
Oakdale, Outside the Prom Center
Overheard by s4xton. -
It Was A Special Occasion
Girl at party: Me and my sister were the only two white people there. It freaked me out. I’m not racist or anything, but we don’t have black people in Wisconsin.
Minneapolis, Hotel post-wedding party
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You Know, In Case You’re In The Market
Male wedding-goer to female wedding goer: Oh you guys work here? Excellent. My sisters husband, oh I mean my brother-in-law, sells semen. Bull semen.
St Paul, Wedding
Overheard by Best Pickup Line Ever. -
Christine Is The Bride
Drunk valley girl in the bathroom (conspiratorily): Ok, like, I’m not supposed to tell anyone this, but Christine MIGHT be leaving early.
Friend: Really? Oh my God, I can’t believe that.
(long silence)
Voice from a stall: Are guys waiting for me to say something?
Drunk valley girl: Oh my God, Christine, are you in here?!?St. Paul, Bathroom at a wedding
Overheard by check the feet under the stalls next time, sweetie -
Have A Second Stamp For “Freeloaders”
Girl: At my wedding we are going to have an open bar, but I am going to charge those guys. I am going to stamp their hands “cheap motherfuckers”.
Excelsior, Bayside
Overheard by this girl made my night. -
I Love Science!
Bridesmaid #1: Ugh, why does the ice always stick to the bottom of my glass?
Bridesmaid #2: Maybe because it’s heavier than air?Maplewood wedding
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That’s The Spirit
Motivated twenties-something to her friend: Well, yeah, all I have to say is that these single guys better watch out. [pause] Ah hell, the married guys better watch out, too.
Downtown wedding reception
Overheard by a cousin of the bride. -
He’s Easy To Please
Overly excited man regarding Smuckers Uncrustable sandwiches: They just have the perfect amount of peanut butter and jelly in them! They’re like… mouth heaven!
Wedding in St. Cloud
Overheard by Wish I got that excited about sandwiches. -
My Bladder Is Another Story, Though.
Elderly woman entering wedding reception: I’ve found since I’ve gotten older I can hold my liquor better. So I’ll drive home.

WBL Country Inn
Overheard by Hope she wasn’t parked next to me.




