Male wedding-goer to female wedding goer: Oh you guys work here? Excellent. My sisters husband, oh I mean my brother-in-law, sells semen. Bull semen.

St Paul, Wedding
Overheard by Best Pickup Line Ever.

Drunk valley girl in the bathroom (conspiratorily): Ok, like, I’m not supposed to tell anyone this, but Christine MIGHT be leaving early.
Friend: Really? Oh my God, I can’t believe that.
(long silence)
Voice from a stall: Are guys waiting for me to say something?
Drunk valley girl: Oh my God, Christine, are you in here?!?

St. Paul, Bathroom at a wedding
Overheard by check the feet under the stalls next time, sweetie

Girl: At my wedding we are going to have an open bar, but I am going to charge those guys.  I am going to stamp their hands “cheap motherfuckers”.

Excelsior, Bayside
Overheard by this girl made my night.

Bridesmaid #1: Ugh, why does the ice always stick to the bottom of my glass?
Bridesmaid #2: Maybe because it’s heavier than air?

Maplewood wedding

Motivated twenties-something to her friend: Well, yeah, all I have to say is that these single guys better watch out.  [pause] Ah hell, the married guys better watch out, too.

Downtown wedding reception
Overheard by a cousin of the bride.

Overly excited man regarding Smuckers Uncrustable sandwiches: They just have the perfect amount of peanut butter and jelly in them! They’re like… mouth heaven!

Wedding in St. Cloud
Overheard by Wish I got that excited about sandwiches.

Elderly woman entering wedding reception: I’ve found since I’ve gotten older I can hold my liquor better. So I’ll drive home.

WBL Country Inn
Overheard by Hope she wasn’t parked next to me.