23rd
June
2008
I’m Also Looking For A Good Assistant
6 year old genius boy: Mom, you should get this one because it has no trans fat.
Mom: Mmm hmmm…
6 year old genius boy: The single one is two dollars, so if you just buy the single it’s actually more cheaper than each one in the value pack.
Mom: It’s “cheaper” not “more cheaper”.
Woodbury Target
Overheard by yeah, dummy! (p.s. can I take you home with me?!)
tags: kids , moms , target , woodbury |
6th
June
2008
HOW DO THEY DO IT?
Annoyingly Loud Cube Neighbor (carrying a bag from Leeann Chin): Fried rice? I didn’t know they had fried rice. Tastes different than plain old rice.
494 and 94, Woodbury
Overheard by How insightful.
tags: at work , woodbury |
17th
April
2008
That’s Not Always Good
Very Important Manager in the Next Aisle: I am a rare, delicate flower. A Rare. Delicate. Flower.
494 and 94, Woodbury
Overheard by So that explains the smell over there.
tags: shopping , woodbury |
14th
April
2008
Irresistable
40 year old polite woman: So, what kind of things do you like to do?
40 year old man: Oh, I mean I’m way spontaneous. Mostly I like to hang out around the house but if my friend calls me with tickets to a monster truck rally no way would I turn those down, even if its last minute!
Borders in Woodbury
Overheard by grateful to be in a relationship..
tags: shopping , woodbury |
26th
February
2008
And I’m Compelled To Speak Every Thought I Have
Annoyingly Loud Cube Neighbor: Yeah, I just ate a lot of protein and a lot of whole grains for lunch.

494/94, Woodbury
Overheard by Not Sitting Here for Long.
tags: at work , woodbury |
27th
January
2008
Someone Has To Remember To Refill His Ritalin Prescription
Teenage boy on the phone: Man, Target doesn’t have the right type of notebook that I need. I need one with a hard cover. You know why? [pause] Yeah, you know why. [pause] Cause I throw my shit AROUND. I don’t baby my notebooks. Suck my dick, notebooks!

Target in Woodbury
Overheard by I’m sure that would feel good.
tags: shopping , target , woodbury |
22nd
January
2008
You Have To Get Through The Day Somehow
Annoyingly Loud Cube Neighbor: Hashish? Hashish!

694 and 94, Woodbury
Overheard by So that’s what she’s smoking.
tags: at work , woodbury |
21st
January
2008
It’s Going To Be A Long Night
Annoyingly Loud Cube Neighbor in Training: How do I use it?
Annoyingly Loud Cube Neighbor: Just stick it in the hole!

694 and 94, Woodbury
Overheard by I hope she’s not referring to her gerbils again.
tags: at work , woodbury |
9th
January
2008
That’s Not True
Annoyingly loud cube neighbor: Nobody wants my gerbils.

694 and 94, Woodbury
Overheard by Not Richard Gere.
tags: at work , woodbury |
15th
December
2007
If You Can Breathe
[sick fire alarm sound going off]
Coworker #1: Fire? Fire drill?
Branch Manager: Yeah, don’t worry about it until you smell smoke.
[T+20 seconds sick fire alarm sound stops]
Coworker #2: Well, that was quick.
Coworker #1: Yeah, good drill guys. Congratulations, we’re all dead.
Branch Manager: [10 second pause] “Okay all… back to work.

Financial Advisor’s Office - Woodbury, MN
Overheard by Pinkerton McWhiffleball.
tags: woodbury |
17th
September
2007
It Might Be Time For A New “Darwin Awards” Book.
Backwoods Barbie: Hey bitches, we should hotbox my Volvo.

volleyball court in Woodbury
Overheard by mikasa.
tags: on the street , woodbury |
11th
July
2007
It Ain’t EZ Being Three.
Toddler-aged boy (riding in cart) to his dad, while walking by the patio furniture section: Dad, can we go sit down in there?
Dad: No, we can’t sit down in there.
Boy: I need to lay down.

Woodbury Target
Overheard by but it’s oh-so-inviting.
tags: shopping , target , woodbury |
27th
June
2007
But It Helps Fight High Cholesterol.
Chick: Would you believe that I’ve never had Honey Nut Cheerios?
Friend: I think that’s un-American.

Woodbury Cub Foods
Overheard by silently agreeing.
tags: cub foods , shopping , woodbury |
5th
June
2007
Just Keep Taking Her To Noodles.
Woman: (waitress dropped off two HUGE plates of food) Oh my goodness! I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach!
Man: (quietly) Not for long.

Noodles & Company - Woodbury
Overheard by Bob.
tags: dining , woodbury |
28th
April
2007
Get One For Daddy, Too.
Young mom, dealing with two small children: Come on, do you have it? Is the bag too heavy?
Little girl: Yeah! Let’s go!
Young mom: Okay. Mommy needs a cocktail.

Target, Woodbury
Overheard by Needed one too.
tags: minneapolis , shopping , target , woodbury |
4th
April
2007
If It Were Only That Easy.
Woman bagging her groceries while on cell phone: No, the bodacious butt cream is the same thing as Desitin.

Woodbury Cub Foods
Overheard by AMD.
tags: cub foods , shopping , woodbury |
5th
February
2007
American Idol Is Corrupting Our Young.
Four year old sitting in cart: Damn girl, shake your ass!
Mother: You’re not watching any more movies.

Target, Woodbury
Overheard by had no intention of shaking anything but her head.
tags: shopping , target , woodbury |