6 year old genius boy: Mom, you should get this one because it has no trans fat.
Mom: Mmm hmmm…
6 year old genius boy: The single one is two dollars, so if you just buy the single it’s actually more cheaper than each one in the value pack.
Mom: It’s “cheaper” not “more cheaper”.

Woodbury Target
Overheard by yeah, dummy!  (p.s. can I take you home with me?!)

Annoyingly Loud Cube Neighbor (carrying a bag from Leeann Chin): Fried rice? I didn’t know they had fried rice. Tastes different than plain old rice.

494 and 94, Woodbury
Overheard by How insightful.

Very Important Manager in the Next Aisle: I am a rare, delicate flower. A Rare. Delicate. Flower.

494 and 94, Woodbury
Overheard by So that explains the smell over there.

40 year old polite woman: So, what kind of things do you like to do?
40 year old man: Oh, I mean I’m way spontaneous.  Mostly I like to hang out around the house but if my friend calls me with tickets to a monster truck rally no way would I turn those down, even if its last minute!

Borders in Woodbury
Overheard by grateful to be in a relationship..

Annoyingly Loud Cube Neighbor: Yeah, I just ate a lot of protein and a lot of whole grains for lunch.

494/94, Woodbury
Overheard by Not Sitting Here for Long.

Teenage boy on the phone: Man, Target doesn’t have the right type of notebook that I need. I need one with a hard cover. You know why? [pause] Yeah, you know why. [pause] Cause I throw my shit AROUND. I don’t baby my notebooks. Suck my dick, notebooks!

Target in Woodbury
Overheard by I’m sure that would feel good.

Annoyingly Loud Cube Neighbor: Hashish? Hashish!

694 and 94, Woodbury
Overheard by So that’s what she’s smoking.

Annoyingly Loud Cube Neighbor in Training: How do I use it?
Annoyingly Loud Cube Neighbor: Just stick it in the hole!

694 and 94, Woodbury
Overheard by I hope she’s not referring to her gerbils again.

Annoyingly loud cube neighbor: Nobody wants my gerbils.

694 and 94, Woodbury
Overheard by Not Richard Gere.

[sick fire alarm sound going off]
Coworker #1: Fire? Fire drill?
Branch Manager: Yeah, don’t worry about it until you smell smoke.
[T+20 seconds sick fire alarm sound stops]
Coworker #2: Well, that was quick.
Coworker #1: Yeah, good drill guys. Congratulations, we’re all dead.
Branch Manager: [10 second pause] “Okay all… back to work.

Financial Advisor’s Office - Woodbury, MN
Overheard by Pinkerton McWhiffleball.

Backwoods Barbie: Hey bitches, we should hotbox my Volvo.

volleyball court in Woodbury
Overheard by mikasa.

Toddler-aged boy (riding in cart) to his dad, while walking by the patio furniture section: Dad, can we go sit down in there?
Dad: No, we can’t sit down in there.
Boy: I need to lay down.

Woodbury Target
Overheard by but it’s oh-so-inviting.

Chick: Would you believe that I’ve never had Honey Nut Cheerios?
Friend: I think that’s un-American.

Woodbury Cub Foods
Overheard by silently agreeing.

Woman: (waitress dropped off two HUGE plates of food) Oh my goodness! I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach!
Man: (quietly) Not for long.

Noodles & Company - Woodbury
Overheard by Bob.

Young mom, dealing with two small children: Come on, do you have it? Is the bag too heavy?
Little girl: Yeah! Let’s go!
Young mom: Okay. Mommy needs a cocktail.

Target, Woodbury
Overheard by Needed one too.

Woman bagging her groceries while on cell phone: No, the bodacious butt cream is the same thing as Desitin.

Woodbury Cub Foods
Overheard by AMD.

Four year old sitting in cart: Damn girl, shake your ass!
Mother: You’re not watching any more movies.

Target, Woodbury
Overheard by had no intention of shaking anything but her head.