Posts Tagged ‘wtf’

  • Don’t Take Drugs That You Find In The Dumpster

    Date: 2011.05.23 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Woman walking, talking to herself: If ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ were beagles, we’d all be princes and princesses. Of beagles.

    Minneapolis, 27th & Colfax
    Overheard by Dwight.

  • The First President Under Our Beds

    Date: 2010.04.23 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Little boy, in a singsong voice: George Washington, George Washington, he’s gonna eat you. George Washington, George Washington.

    Minneapolis, Bus Route 16
    Overheard by wooden teeth must work well.

  • Is It Like Wearing White After Labor Day?

    Date: 2010.04.05 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Lady Bar Patron: Even if you we’re born in 1970 you can still enjoy a Charleston Chew.

    Minneapolis, 331 Club
    Overheard by Trivia Players.

  • Does That Mean It’s Optional?

    Date: 2009.11.13 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Timberwolves cheerleader: I love coming to work. I get sssooo excited. I wish everyone was this excited about going to work. Yeah, I’m half naked all the time but just the same I still love it.
    Young security guard: I know what you mean. I get really excited about coming to work, too, but they let me wear clothes.

    Minneapolis, Target Center
    Overheard by Clothed employee.

  • That Usually Has Very Negative Results, Or So I’ve Heard

    Date: 2009.08.03 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Woman to coworker: We’ll be fine. I’ll just say I’m high and I’ll be fine.

    Plymouth, Carlson Center
    Overheard by confused intern.

  • Thank Goodness For The Bunny

    Date: 2009.06.28 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Girl who’s stopped on her bike, to another girl: I’ve never had that even come close to happening. When it almost does, the bunny always tells me.

    Minneapolis, Grassy Knoll on the Greenway Bike Path
    Overheard by Alice in Wonderland.

  • She Can Only Use The Lawn Mower

    Date: 2009.06.05 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Tan Intellectual at the Beach: Yeah, she must technically be a little person.
    Equally Intellectual Friend: Why’s that?
    Tan Intellectual at the Beach: Her hands are really small, like too small to even operate machinery. It’s gross.

    Minneapolis, Lake Calhoun
    Overheard by I doubt your machinery is that big.

  • It’s Not Like There’s A Grocery Store Nearby

    Date: 2009.05.29 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Worker #1: Bring me some fruit and a bottle of water when you come back. You’re taking your lunch at home, right?
    Worker #2: What?
    Worker #1: Bring me a water and some fruit when you come back. You always do.
    Worker #2: Um, no, I never have, and I don’t have any fruit anyway.
    Worker #1: Not even an apple?
    Worker #2: (stares)

    Minneapolis, Lake St. Target
    Overheard by: what about an orange?

  • I Only Saw One Flappity

    Date: 2009.05.07 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Man: Have you seen my white peregrine falcon going flappity flappity? It swoops down at about two hundred miles an hour without the technology.

    Saint Paul, Grand Avenue CVS
    Overheard by how fast does it swoop down with the technology?

  • To Whom?!

    Date: 2009.05.04 | Category: all | Response: 0

    30-something woman to her women friend:  So, then he smiled at me and I realized he had fangs just like a vampire.
    Friend: Well, weren’t you by the caves?
    30-something woman: Yes, what does that have to do with it?
    Friend: Don’t vampires like to sleep in caves?
    30-something friend: Yes, well I suppose that makes sense then.

    Minneapolis, in line at Caribou on Nicollet Mall and 11th
    Overheard by The crazies are out again for the summer.

  • The Ghosts Of Regrets Past

    Date: 2009.05.04 | Category: all | Response: 0

    20-something girl: What if my vagina was haunted?
    20-something guy: Like, with sperm wearing little white sheets?  Hmm, I wonder if any of my sperm have become ghosts.

    Minneapolis, Nicollet Mall Farmer’s Market
    Overheard by helopookie.

  • Someone Has To Stop Those Crazy Penguins

    Date: 2009.04.16 | Category: all | Response: 6

    Engineer fixing something in the ceiling to fellow engineer: I woulda been left-handed if it wasn’t for the penguins.

    U of M, 3rd floor of Folwell
    Overheard by ak.

  • Modern Problems For Modern Times

    Date: 2009.04.01 | Category: all | Response: 1

    Girl in front of me who’s boyfriend just bought her 1 bag of regular sized Skittles: Baby, will you buy me these? I want a bag for my Skittles, I just don’t like it when I gots the Skittles all up in my pockets looking all bulging and stuff. I’m not bulging, I want a bag for my Skittles. Here, you take ‘em.

    Minneapolis, Stevens Square, Third Ave Market
    Overheard by Jim (playdead) Sorenson.

  • No, I Don’t Think It Is

    Date: 2009.03.20 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Crazy emo girl in an overcrowded booth, surrounded by her friends: It’s like watching the cookie monster make love to your cat!

    Burnsville, Perkins
    Overheard by WHAT, exactly, is like that?!

  • Calling PETA

    Date: 2008.10.31 | Category: all | Response: 0

    40ish Man in suit: You know how sometimes you can love a dog so much it’s, like, illegal?
    40ish Woman: (looks at him blankly)
    40ish Man: You know… so that it’s, like, illegal?
    40ish Woman: (looks straight ahead) Umm, let’s look at halloween candy.

    Eden Prairie, Target
    Overheard by I love my dog, but not THAT much.

  • I Could Spend All Day Trying To Figure This Out

    Date: 2008.09.26 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Bossy 13 year old to woman: You’re supposed to give up your seat for me, I’m a kid. 

    Woman: Who’s responsibility do you think you are? Not mine, I know how to count.

    St Paul, on the 16
    Overheard by DAYUM.
  • I Can’t Hear You Over The Sounds Of My Retching

    Date: 2008.09.18 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Happy Hour drinker: My menstruation looks like meat? Is that normal?

    Minneapolis, Imperial Room
    Overheard by No, good heavens no!

  • This Problem Is More Common Than You’d Think

    Date: 2008.09.13 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Guy #1:…and America would be the best planet in the universe!
    Guy #2: What about bratwurst?
    Guy #1: We have bratwurst.
    Guy #2: We don’t have enough!

    Woodbury, School
    Overheard by that wouldn’t be my concern…

  • Happens All Of The Time

    Date: 2008.09.09 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Elderly Lady: Can you tell me were an elevator is?
    Co Worker: Right in the middle of that department store there.
    Elderly Lady: What are you guys selling here? The internet?
    Co Worker: No, we sell cell phones here. (holds up phone)
    Elderly Lady: I dont know anything about that. Well, off to see the puppeteer!

    Roseville, Rosedale
    Overheard by I love puppet shows.

  • Let’s Postpone The Color Lesson

    Date: 2008.07.22 | Category: all | Response: 0

    Girl #1: Look! It’s like a train!
    Girl #2: Chugga chugga, chugga chugga… Quack quack!

    Minnetonka Mills
    Overheard by concerned friend.