Dude: I’m not eating tomatoes anymore.  Because of the Somali outbreak.

Leaning Tower
Overheard by I never ate ‘em anyways.

Guy #1: You can’t molest the elderly.
Guy #2: But they can molest you.
Girl: I know, and I love it when they do.

Gustavus Adolphus College, St. Peter, Olin Hall
Overheard by if your employer heard you say that…

Dude in a dress shirt: I really don’t like the way these shoes are hitting the backs of my knees.
Guy friend, also in a tux: …Yeah.

Stadium Village

Girl talking loudly on cellphone: …and OMG I saw a black guy run into a door. And it was really funny, because he did the whole ‘I’m black and I overreact to everything to make up for years of oppression against the African race thing’. I laughed SO hard.

Domino’s in Anoka
Overheard by can i get a hell yeah.

Guy #1: So, did you find out where we could find some bait?
Guy #2: No, there was some girl working there.
Guy #3: So?  Some girls like to fish.
Guy #2: She’s also black.
Guy #1 & #3 (simultaneously): Oh.

Downtown
Overheard by You’ve got to be shitting me.

Cube dweller #1: I have people all up inside me all the time and they’re just bound to come out sooner or later.
Cube dweller #2: I do too, that’s why I write.
Cube dweller #1: I think we’re talking about two different things here.

Office in Minneapolis
Overheard by I love a good office gangbang as much as the next guy.

White girl:  I wish I had an Obama t-shirt to wear tonight. (pause) Although I’m sure if I brought a black friend it’d be just the same.

U of M east bank
Overheard by LB.

Girl on Phone: Hey girl!  I just got done lubricating my Rubik’s Cube!

Hopkins High School
Overheard by Momo.

Employee: And how are you doing today?
Customer: Hey, if I was any better, I’d be a parade!

Trader Joe’s
Overheard by sxoidmal.

Ghetto Fabulous Girl approaching two other Urban Youth:  Who are you?
Urban Youth:  I’m Strawberry, this is Nay-Nay.
Ghetto Fabulous Girl:  What are you doing here?
Strawberry (motioning to Nay-Nay):  She shitted herself so she had to go change.
(Nay-Nay stands, mouth agape)
Strawberry:  What?  Girls shit.

Northbound Light Rail
Overheard by Smabbott.