Posts Tagged ‘wtf’
-
He’s Carries It Around For Proof
Young man to apparent family members: I got my arm bitten off by an alligator. Look at my t-shirt.
A park in Minneapolis
Overheard by WTF??? There might be an easier way to tell. -
Now Can We Just Stop Handing Out Prescriptions To Kids?
Elementary school girl to sister: Have you ever sat on really hot bleachers? If so, try my new Anus Sack! Just add ice to the pouch and sit for instant cooling! I also attached some silverware, some scissors, some glue, some oats, some floss, some tapioca pudding, a pack of flashcards, a pencil, and some Children’s Motrin. You know… just in case.
Minnetonka Mills Dunn Bros.
Overheard by i’d buy that. -
This Wants To Make Sense
Man chatting with an equally loud friend: He’s so cute you wanna trust anything he says, but it’s like, no. He just sells himself so he can be like geishas.
16 bus wetbound
Overheard by if he’s cute…. -
Will That Help?
Man, to car driving down alley after he crosses: Slow DOWN!
Man in car: Take out your ponytail!Dupont/34th
Overheard by very concerned neighbor. -
Ask That Man?
Museum Employee: Any Questions?
5-year-old boy: Why is there a man dangerously hanging on that cord?Mill City Museum
Overheard by Too old and jaded to be concerned. -
What A Let Down
Lady: Ooo!!! ICE CREAM!! Ohh, wait that’s just potato salad.
WalMart
Overheard by Potato Salad is good too! -
Is All That Really Necessary?
Co-worker #1: Our courageous leader tells me our people have fallen on hard times and though the metaphorical rain may fall, our perseverance will prevail and triumph will soon be ours.
Co-worker #2: Weird, dude. Hey, wanna order Jimmy Johns with me?Eden Prairie cube farm
Overheard by co-worker 3. -
Isn’t That Awkward?
Woman to table of friends: So, there I was in Texas with a bunch of Asians and they didn’t know.
Herkimer patio
Overheard by That could have been me. -
I Left Mine In My Other Purse
Older woman shouting: Somebody on this bus got a skunk! Who’s got a skunk in their purse?!
16 eastbound
Overheard by LB, who loves public transportation. -
It’s All So Clear Now
Groundskeeper lying on the lawn, to other groundskeepers: So, people keep killing themselves because the plants are emitting this pheromone that, like, makes people want to kill themselves.
outside Folwell, University of Minnesota
Overheard by worried gardener. -
Obviously
Announcer Dave Toll in reference to 15-year-old junior national champion bike racer, Coryn Reviera as she won a sprint lap: She’s a bar napkin with a motor boat engine.
10th and Nicollet
Overheard by Spectators at the Nature Valley Grand Prix Minneapolis Downtown Criterium bike race -
Damn You, Progression!
Old black man, walking erratically and muttering to himself as he passes a tall black woman with dreads walking hand-in-hand with her white husband: Damn… that’s the problem with Minnesota. Blacks and whites together. What the hell? This state is so fucked up… why, Minnesota? All gone to hell.
Lyndale Ave, outside The Wedge
Overheard by I remember the good old days. -
Is He A Magic Turtle?
Blonde: It’s so hot in here, I’m all sweaty.
Brunette: I think I’m going to need my turtle.IKEA
Overheard by that’s not going to solve your problem. -
Seems Like A Good Time To Occupy Other Planets
Older jogger: What was its name? Stevenson? Um…
Younger jogger: Callahan.
Older jogger: Yeah, Callahan! God, that’s a stupid name. Who would name their dog something with two syllables?Lake Calhoun
Overheard by Call-a-han has 3 syllables. Would you prefer Fi-do? Wait… -
Well, That’s New
Dude: I’m not eating tomatoes anymore. Because of the Somali outbreak.
Leaning Tower
Overheard by I never ate ‘em anyways. -
Someone Always Goes Too Far
Guy #1: You can’t molest the elderly.
Guy #2: But they can molest you.
Girl: I know, and I love it when they do.Gustavus Adolphus College, St. Peter, Olin Hall
Overheard by if your employer heard you say that… -
Sassy
Dude in a dress shirt: I really don’t like the way these shoes are hitting the backs of my knees.
Guy friend, also in a tux: …Yeah.Stadium Village
-
It’s A Big Day For Assholes Here In Minnesota
Girl talking loudly on cellphone: …and OMG I saw a black guy run into a door. And it was really funny, because he did the whole ‘I’m black and I overreact to everything to make up for years of oppression against the African race thing’. I laughed SO hard.
Domino’s in Anoka
Overheard by can i get a hell yeah. -
You’ll Need A License For Your Ignorance, Too
Guy #1: So, did you find out where we could find some bait?
Guy #2: No, there was some girl working there.
Guy #3: So? Some girls like to fish.
Guy #2: She’s also black.
Guy #1 & #3 (simultaneously): Oh.Downtown
Overheard by You’ve got to be shitting me. -
Are We?
Cube dweller #1: I have people all up inside me all the time and they’re just bound to come out sooner or later.
Cube dweller #2: I do too, that’s why I write.
Cube dweller #1: I think we’re talking about two different things here.Office in Minneapolis
Overheard by I love a good office gangbang as much as the next guy.
more oim
