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I Know What Mr. T Would Say About Her
20 something guy, reading movie section of the paper: Mr. T. Do you know Mr. T?
20 something girl: No.
20 something guy: He’s this awesome guy who was on this show in the 80′s. It was called the A-Team. I think they made a movie of it.
20 something girl: Oh.
20 something guy: But he’s not in the movie, so let’s not go see it.Bloomington, Penn Ave Caribou
Overheard by just here to use the net. -
Is It Still Kicking If She Takes It Off First?
Woman in mid-twenties to male friend: I’m going to take my wooden leg, and I’m going to kick you with it.
Mall of America, third floor (outside of Nordstrom)
Overheard by ak. -
Someone Mixed Up My Order
Drunk short muscley guy: I’m a man with a small penis and a tall wife.
Minneapolis, First Ave
Overheard by Good to know. -
Almost As Good As A Batcave
20-something girl: To the underpants!
Roseville, T1 Target
Overheard by Ram. -
She’ll Never See It Coming
20-something woman talking loudly on cell phone: Her water broke yesterday, so now she’s walkin’ around with a hole in her uterus. And her baby jus’ gonna fall out!!
Minneapolis, bus stop
Overheard by Those darn babies. -
Not If You Keep Breaking My Concentration
Little boy to mother in stall: Mom, what’s taking so long? Are ya poopin?
Mom: I’m still in here. I’ll be out in a second.
Boy: But are ya poopin?
Mom: I’ll be out in a second.
Boy: Yeah, but are ya poopin?Minneapolis, Women’s restroom at Orchestra Hall
Overheard by someone just trying to wash their hands. -
Now You Have To Bring Enough To Share With The Whole Office
Man in cubicle on cellphone, whispering: So, how much for that thing we talked about? (pause) I mean how much for a Q? (pause) You know, Q.O…a quad? (pause) No! Q, a quarter. (frustrated and very loudly) HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR A QUARTER OUNCE OF WEED, GOD DAMMIT?!
Minneapolis, RBC Dain
Overheard by gordy, standing behind you. -
Not Nearly Enough
4-year-old boy sitting in cart putting on sunglasses: Mom, do these make me look bad ass?
Startled mother looking at pens: We don’t talk about that. Wait, where did you get that from??
Boy: Batman. Do these look bad ass?Coon Rapids, Pen asile at Officemax
Overheard by Officemax Employee. -
How About “Douche?”
Restaurant worker taking picture: Say “Sushi!”
Customer: I’m not Japanese.Ruby Tuesday’s at MOA
Overheard by Giggleing customers in adjacent booth. -
Put A Muzzle On It First
4-year-old boy with cat on leash: DAD!
Dad: What?
Boy: Come here!
Dad: NO!Minneapolis, Uptown, Dupont Ave
Overheard by Hmmm. -
No Hablo Ingles
Frazzled White Haired Older Woman to 20 something Best Buy Employee: If I said the word “Wi-Fi” to you, would you know what that means?
Edina, Best Buy
Overheard by These people really exist! -
I Like To Remind Myself Of The Vitamins In Ice Cream
Noisy neighbor talking to vendor passing out cookies: I’m going to take a peanut butter cookie because it has peanut better in it. Peanut butter is good for you because it has protein in it, so I should really take 2 cookies to get more protein.
Minneapolis, TCF Tower
Overheard by I want a chocolate cookie. -
Just Taking A Break
Woman #1: I have been feeling so nauseated lately, but I don’t know why.
Woman #2: Maybe you’re pregnant.
Woman #1: That would be impossible. Unless it was immaculate conception and I’m not all that immaculate.Woodbury, at lunch
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Available In Bulls! Order Now! Supplies Are Limited!
20-something male to his 20-something male friend: WOW!! He’s huge! I didn’t know these came in bulls! I thought they were just the milkers.
Apple Valley, At the Minnesota Zoo Farm while looking at the Holstein Bull
Overheard by hdj_76. -
That’s Just What I’ve Heard
Coworker on cellphone, speaking quietly: I know that freaks some women out. But I’m a man, so I wouldn’t know.
Minneapolis, cube farm
Overheard by Your neighbor. -
Intermediate Pet Dressing
Little girl in dressing room: And today we are going to learn about how to put underwear on a Chinchilla!
Dressing room in Mall of America
Overheard by Dressing room attendant. -
As A Matter Of Fact…
Girl holding long piece of paper: Will you hold this for me, Mommy?
Mom, with armful of books: Look how much I am carrying, and what you have. Do you think it’s fair to ask me? Are you the Queen of Sheba?Eden Prairie, library parking lot
Overheard by a patron. -
That’s What He Kept Calling It
Hipster girl #1: So did he try to makeout with you?
Hipster girl #2: Oh, he was all up in my… in my stuff.Minneapolis, Victors 1959 Cafe
Overheard by I hope he stays out of my stuff. -
He Goes To Public School
Mother: Wait, how would you know what Magic Hat is?
Son: Why wouldn’t I?
Mother: It’s beer! You’re TWELVE.MSP Airport
Overheard by Atta boy. -
And It’s Not Easy
20-something guy: I’m losing my beer belly and getting back my whiskey belly.
Rochester, 4th of July house party
Overheard by The wife.
recent comments
- sk: Maybe she’s questioning his intelligence, because most Best Buy employees are idiots.
- EM: Yes they do – you can get it at France 44 and probably Surdyk’s.
- S: If memory serves me right, Strom has a road with his name on it, at an Army base……..Fort Jackson, in...
- jb: They don’t even sell that in the midwest, do they now?
- Pumumba: We have two in my living room maybe he would like one of them??




