It’s Probably Worth The Effort

Student #1: HEY! CALL ME SOMETIME YA’ JERK!
Student #2: I don’t have your number.
Student #1: WELL, FIND IT.

Minneapolis, Minneapolis College of Art & Design

The First Of A Thousand Times He’ll Say That

Camp Counselor: Justin, why is your marshmallow roasting stick in between your legs?
Justin (5 years old): Cause it’s my penis! I have a really, really long penis!

Duluth, cabin
Overheard by Kids these days.

That’s Old News

Male Customer, sarcastically: You guys never lose anything, right?
Male Worker: Only our minds.

Richfield, Post Office
Overheard by Please not today, I really need to mail this.

Reason #5,932

Teenage Girl #1: He totally dissed my mom!
Teenage Girl #2: Well, in his defense, your mom is kind of a slut.
Teenage Girl #1: I know, but I still felt bad for her.

Minneapolis, McDonald’s
Overheard by Ginger.

They Just Take So Long To Cook

Mom, to her kid: What do you want to eat?
Little kid: BUFFALO!
Mom: You mean buffet?
Little kid: NO. A BUFFALO!

Minneapolis, Franklin & Nicollet Bus Stop
Overheard by Malarchy.

That Deserves A Haiku

Early-20’s guy: If I could make one season warmer, I’d choose winter and if I could make one season colder, I’d choose summer.
Early-20’s girl: Yeah.

St. Louis Park, Louisiana Transit Park & Ride
Overheard by How long did it take for you to figure that one out, genius?

Like A Promise Ring?

Woman on the phone: No, it’s just a reserve reservation.

Minneapolis, Punch Pizza
Overheard by Free Pizza!

So… Not Much

Ham Radio Enthusiast #1: Hey, what’s Thurgood Marshall up to these days, anyway?
Ham Radio Enthusiast #2: Well, he’s dead.
Ham Radio Enthusiast #1: Really? Oh, wait, that’s not who I’m thinking of! I meant, what’s his name, that racist guy?
Ham Radio Enthusiast #2: Strom Thurmond?
Ham Radio Enthusiast #1: Yeah! What’s he up to?
Ham Radio Enthusiast #2: Well, he’s dead, too.

Minneapolis, Burger Jones
Overheard by An Invisible Fiend.

Do You Give Bulk Discounts?

Chipper cashier: Oh, I like cats. Do you have a kitty?
Crusty old man with large bag of cat food: Yeah. 39 of them.

Maple Grove, Super Target
Overheard by No matter how hard Maple Grove tries to be Edina or Eden Prairie…

Miracles Can Happen

Middle aged woman #1: I mean, the poor girl has three uteruses, and she’s from India and-
Middle aged woman #2: Does that mean she can have three babies at the same time??

Bloomington, Hotel
Overheard by Your Confused Front Desk Agent.

That Should Be All The Time You Need

Girl in her early 20s, to boyfriend: Um, it says I’m psychic for the next three weeks.

Saint Paul, Costellos
Overheard by Hmmm.

How Much Of Last Night Do You Remember?

College Kid: Not sure what we were thinking, but you can’t substitute bananas for eggs.

Minneapolis, Target
Overheard by Old Timer.

The Rainbow Is Not That Tasty

Pre-teen girl, very loudly to friend: You did WHAT to WHOSE mother for HOW many Skittles?!?!

Minneapolis, bus
Overheard by Are you sure it wasn’t M&Ms?

Preventative Care Is Awesome

Bro promoting Barfly: Every night I go home, make myself a chicken breast, and hit my pillow. Two breasts a day keeps a guy healthy, am I right?

Minneapolis, Hennepin & 5th bus stop
Overheard by Burrhead.

You’re Not Trapped In An Attic

Guy #1: Dude, you can’t make out with your sister!
Guy #2: Even if she’s, like, really hot?
Guy #1: Rough, dude.

Minnetonka High School
Overheard by glad we’re not related.

Thank Goodness For World Peace

Guy wearing T-mobile shirt: Apparently people are starting to fight about what atheist group is better. That’s ridiculous. Nobody fights about what religious group is better.

Minnetonka, T-mobile kiosk in Ridgedale Mall
Overheard by an atheist.

That’s Not A Topping

College girl in line for burrito toppings: GOD, I JUST LOVE PROTEIN!!!

Minneapolis, Augsburg College Cafeteria
Overheard by Were you refering to sour cream or salsa?

The Following 12 Hours Are Less Magical

Kid having breakfast with his family: We went to this great place called the White Castle!

Minneapolis, Uptown Bruegger’s
Overheard by Kumar.

I’m Afraid I Do

Angry, crazy man: I know what he’s tryin’ to do. He’s advertising my pocket! And trying to get in my pocket! But I ain’t one of his gay boys, know what I’m sayin’?

Minneapolis, 4 bus, southbound on Hennepin Ave
Overheard by sxoidmal.

They’ll Eat Hamburgers And They’ll Like It!

Boyfriend to his Polish girlfriend, arguing about buying food for her visiting relatives: They should eat American; If I went to Poland I would expect to eat Polish!

Minneapolis, apartment building
Overheard by someone who doesn’t want to hear.